judyanne

Apr 02, 2015 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

This poem is part of the contest:

KYRIELLE

(Read More...)

to my dog (april contest)

.
It matters not I am unwise
I see acceptance in your eyes
I find my strength - your faith, you see
reflects the me I want to be

believing I can do no wrong
with adoration, pure and strong
your trusting soul implicitly
reflects the me I want to be

I see it when I speak to you
true devotion from someone who
so worshipful and wordlessly
reflects the me I want to be

you hold me in such great esteem
conviction in your love redeems
belies my past stupidity
reflects the me I want to be

you are my guide, assigned for free
for this part of eternity
and what is in your heart simply
reflects the me I want to be
.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Western Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Favourite poets? So many, so varied. I like particular songs, not necessarily the singer... and the same goes for poetry. I can honestly say though, that Alfred Noyes' The Highwayman was what inspired my love of poetry - my mother began reading it to me when I was still a baby, and it became my favourite bedtime story

Comments

Sparrow

10 years 3 months ago

Judy

This is beautifully crafted, now damn it I have to scrape the UK grey/USA gray matter and shake out a poem to pass this one.
You do make life hard lol,
Yours Ian.x

judyanne

10 years 3 months ago

thank you Ian

for the very kind comment
love judy
xxx

raj

10 years 3 months ago

Judyanne

Thoughtful and creative as most of your writes. I got answers to most of my queries, except the rhyme part which i did not understand from what explanation is given in the sylabus

Good poem, good lesson

Regards,

judyanne

10 years 3 months ago

hi Raj

Thanks for the read and kind comment

As for the rhyme
This form can be written in couplets - 2 verses per stanza
You will see, that this way, every verse will rhyme
Eg
in spring we hear the roses sing
we thank you, Lord, for everything

your trees protect from summer's sting
we thank you, Lord,, for everything

those autumn flowers have their fling
we thank you, Lord for everything

and winter's solitude.... so now I'm stuck lol
- It is difficult to write this style in English, because of a lack of rhyme in that language as compared to other languages - French, especially...

If writing in quatrain, the rhyme scheme can be varied...
aabB ccbB ddbB and so on
or AbaB cbcB dbdB and so on
or even baaB bccB bddB and so on
(B being the refrain)

Does this make it any clearer?
love judy
xxx

raj

10 years 3 months ago

Judyanne

Thanks as always for your time and effort to elaborate and answer my queries. I am really grateful for that. However, honestly, purely due to my limitations, I still haven't understood what is meant by (B being the refrain) in what way b is different than B and what exactly is meant by refrain..

Anyways, it is not fair for me to expect you to go on giving explanations by sparing your valuable time..hopefully, I may be able to find answers over a period of time by following verses from experts like you ...so please do not invest your time on a mug like me..

Best regards and thanks

alidzain

10 years 3 months ago

Raj

Maybe I can help. In what I have seen,the "B" the refrain is the verse which is repeated again and again in each stanza while the "b" is the line which rhymes with the refrain but it is not the same verse in each stanza.

Alid

wesley snow

10 years 3 months ago

That was an excellent explanation.

I knew you could teach.

raj

10 years 3 months ago

Alid

Thanks. However, to a mug like me it will take time to understand what you are saying by looking at the submissions of proficient poets like you.

Regards,

alidzain

10 years 3 months ago

Judy

Damn! I should have waited and craft my poem longer. Love the flow and imagery. A question though, is this supposed to be iambic throughout the poem? the 2nd stanza's 2nd line seems to start with anapest.

Alid

judyanne

10 years 3 months ago

thank you Alid

You know, you can alter your poem as much as you like, as long as its done before the closing date of the contest... so add away if you wish - but personally, I love your write as is...

well, iambic.... actually, a lot of the verses are not iambic.... and (shh) one foot is actually trochee (for syntax)...
but they are all octosyllabic, so I hope the judge okays it ....

I see Wesley's comment below, that it is supposed to be pentameter
lol, I wrote this in pentameter first, then half read the rules and changed it to tetrameter...
perhaps I should change it back?

but I see you also wrote in tetrameter....

it'll be the judges call, I guess....
love judy
xxx

wesley snow

10 years 3 months ago

Yes, it should be iambic pentameter throughout...

general.

The Kyrielle is a rather loose sort of form. Stay close to the form and you have a kyrielle, stray too far and you have a different piece of poetry.
Judyanne's poem is most surely a kyrielle. I love the way she worked the aspect of worship in the poem.

judyanne

10 years 3 months ago

oops

lol - I wrote it at first in pentameter, then read the rules, saw octosyllable, and then my mind must've blanked, and I went back and changed it to tetrameter (losing a lot of the iambic on the way)

I'm wondering if I should change it back or not.... I'm not sure that I don't like this version better ...
thanks Wes for the comment
love judy
xxx

wesley snow

10 years 3 months ago

Any time dear.

Loosen up.

judyanne

10 years 3 months ago

lol

I'll take that as a 'leave it alone'
xxcx

mand

10 years 3 months ago

HI Judyanne

Ahh - what a lovely poem. :) Great flow, and lovely sentiments. Good luck in the contest.

Love to you

Mand xxx

judyanne

10 years 3 months ago

hi Mand

thank you very much for the lovely comment and luck wish
love judy
xxx

scribbler

10 years 3 months ago

Hi MM

Just a note to let you know I dropped by. I'm not going to say much until I get a poem posted in this month's contest because I'm not sure how hard this is until I've tried it lol. In ref to comment above. All entrants have until the 22nd to edit their poems. The monthly judge won't begin judging process until then.......stan