Neopoet

Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

KH
Kristen H.
Jan 25, 2023 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
This poem is part of the challenge:

January 2023 Challenge In My Element

(Read More...)

In My Element

The river flows with such an intensity
that the very earth is torn away with its current.

The hurricane blows,
Ripping apart everything in its path.

The ocean crashes,
Digging caves and capsizing entire ships.

Destructive by nature
Stronger than any living being,

The very same element that flows through me,
and sustains life itself,

is gentle enough to fall from the sky
and wash away my tears.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: USA - Georgia, USA

Favorite Poets: Lord Alfred Tennyson, Robert Frost, Allen Ginsberg, Walt Whitman , Misha Collins, John Donne

More from this author

Comments

RoseBlack

RoseBlack

2 years 5 months ago

Intense

Vivid imagery as you turn the feelings inward...well done!

Candlewitch

Candlewitch

2 years 5 months ago

hey Kristen,

you have done a very good job with the challenge. but I found the last two lines weak. I have no suggestions.

*hugs, Cat

K

Kristen H.

2 years 5 months ago

Thank you!

Thanks for your feedback! I'll spend some more time on those last lines! :)

Rosewood Apothecary

Rosewood Apothecary

2 years 5 months ago

Gold

This is art. It’s a short film. I wish I was a film maker. We should do something with this.

Tim

K

Kristen H.

2 years 5 months ago

Thank you!

Thank you! What should we do with it? Any suggestions?

Rosewood Apothecary

Rosewood Apothecary

2 years 5 months ago

I really think it’s a 2 minute short

Ethereal piano music. A shot of a river rushing. A shot of a wind storm. A shot of cresting waves then breaking, a shot of starlings taking flight. A shot of light rain drops making ripples in a puddle. A mother Cradling an infant. A cemetery. The moon. End

We record spoken of your poem word to accompany the film.

I’m not a film maker tho
Tim

K

Kristen H.

2 years 5 months ago

Woah!

That sounds awesome and heartbreaking all at the same time. Unfortunately, I'm no filmmaker either. Otherwise I would be making that myself.