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Jan 13, 2023
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In My Element (Erotica)
Sky diamonds aligned
Cosmic bursts at night
Brightly colored auras
Etched in hazy moonlight
And his kiss was spirit
Entering my body
Awakening the dead inside
Every emotion took a hit
His touch was fire
Setting my soul ablaze
Crying for more
The need was dire
Breathing in tantric air
Our scents intermingled
Pleasure surged like raging water
Then it was over
And so I wait
For his promised return
Under night's velvet blanket
In a spot meant for us alone
Beneath the stars....
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
IknowimgoodEnuf82
2 years 5 months ago
I wasn't sure if she was
I wasn't sure if she was describing a man or a beautiful night's sky.
The flow of words didn't appeal to me.
Title didn't fit what I was thinking the poem was about.
RoseBlack
2 years 5 months ago
Hello
Thank you for your comment. The title was part of a challenge in which I used the elements to describe the intimate experience I had. I can see where it may be a bit confusing. In any event ..I appreciate your comment and thank you for the read.
Hon
2 years 5 months ago
Interpretation
The interpretation of this poem is about a man. The author is using the element of the sky to paint a picture of scenery to describe her emotional connection with him.
RoseBlack
2 years 5 months ago
Hi Hon
You are correct. Thank you for your comment and looking into the deeper meaning.
Rosewood Apothecary
2 years 5 months ago
Super job
About as tasteful a thing as I’ve ever read. The stanza and line really subliminally convey the immediate longing I feel as soon as I leave that space where we are mingled. I salute you poet. This just stunning in every way.
Tim
RoseBlack
2 years 5 months ago
Thank you Tim
a bit out of my comfort zone and the first time I have written anything addressing those type of emotions. I am glad you found it tasteful as that was the goal. The experience was exactly as described and I didn't want to make it sound anything but.
RoseBlack
2 years 5 months ago
Thank you
Glad you enjoyed!!!
Rula
2 years 5 months ago
Awe Carrie
This is so romantic and I really love it!
RoseBlack
2 years 5 months ago
Thank you Rula
A bit different for me and like I said above..out of my comfort zone. I wanted to portray the experience for what it was and am glad it has received such a positive response. I am not great at being romantic.
RoseBlack
2 years 5 months ago
Glad
You enjoyed!! Thank you for the praise!
Candlewitch
2 years 5 months ago
dear Carrie,
I feel that there is a decided lack of romantic guys out there. Is it something taught by mothers or born with? I love your poem. it created a whole new world!
*ever, eddy styx
p.s.
I'm a romantic guy, but I usually end up killing the object of my affection,
Rosewood Apothecary
2 years 5 months ago
Dear Cat
When I was a kid my father set an example for me to follow. Love is patient, love expresses itself emotionally and physically and it doesn’t hide when other people come around. Flowers for no reason at all is always the best reason. Now I’m teaching my children by example too.
I want to be loved a certain way and so that’s what I project.
Tim
RoseBlack
2 years 5 months ago
Tim
All of this! My dad set the bar high as he is a man of character and since I really didn't know any different, I assumed all men were like him or had the potential to be like him. I now know that isn't the case. Men like the two of you are a rare breed and it is refreshing to know you are out there and teaching future generations how to be people of character. I have recently learned how I want to be loved and what I am deserving of as far as love goes. Thank you for being you!
RoseBlack
2 years 5 months ago
Hello Eddy
I feel like there are a lot who are self serving....men and women, however, sometimes we get lucky and find someone we totally mesh with as is the case here.
RoseBlack
2 years 5 months ago
Hi mark
I am glad you liked this!!! Thank you.
Leslie
7 months 3 weeks ago
Very romantic!
... although I'm really not. I thought the idea was beautiful, the relationship divine!
RoseBlack
7 months 3 weeks ago
Thank you
Erotic poetry isn't something I write a lot of but once in a while....thank you for the read and comment
Alex Tanner
7 months 3 weeks ago
Hi Rose
Hi Rose, As you may know erotic poetry is among my favourite subject. It can be difficult to pen without going over the border into pornography. I think you have this about right. Alex
RoseBlack
7 months 3 weeks ago
Hi Alex
Erotic poetry is a challenge in that respect. Trying to keep it tasteful while letting creativity flow is a talent all in itself. I am a big fan of your work. Thank you for the comment and read.
Alex Tanner
7 months 3 weeks ago
Never Mind
Never mind tasteful Rose. I have a couple i have been working on for over a year. Very tasteless some might say, pornographic others, pure sexual fun say I. But I am determined to finish them one day, and get them on. Alex