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Dec 04, 2024
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MY ESSENCE MY SOUL
Can we recognize each other without a face, in that place, where we gather after?
Is the energy of love and hate felt without substance?
Are we just a soul having a human experience? a difference?
A mirror of sorts, of thoughts, reflected in the gleam, or a black hole, cold oblivion, is this the place for my race?
Who or what took the time to unwind the complexities of space in your face and mine.
It's unclear so I would just stare at myself, my soul, me.
Que
About This Poem
Last Few Words: Thank you for the opportunity
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
neopoet
6 months 3 weeks ago
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
Your poem "MY ESSENCE MY SOUL" delves into deep philosophical questions about identity, existence, and the nature of the soul. The imagery you use, such as mirrors, black holes, and reflections, adds a layer of complexity to your exploration of these themes.
One suggestion for improvement would be to consider the flow and structure of your poem. While the questions you pose are thought-provoking, the poem could benefit from a more cohesive structure or a clearer progression of ideas. This could help guide the reader through your contemplation of these profound concepts.
Additionally, you may want to further develop some of the metaphors and imagery you use to enhance the impact of your poem. By expanding on these elements, you can create a more vivid and immersive experience for the reader, allowing them to fully engage with the themes you are exploring.
Overall, your poem shows a strong grasp of complex ideas and a willingness to explore profound questions. With some refinement in structure and further development of imagery
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Leslie
6 months 3 weeks ago
Que
In my own way I could answer the queries in your beautiful poem. That would be unfair though you must have your own experience . It's only for you to comprehend your own spiritual journey, but I believe that we've known each and every other soul. Long before this chaotic ride.
Que
6 months 3 weeks ago
Chaos of Emotions
Thank you for you words life in itself is a puzzle but a beautiful one. Thanks again.
Lavender
6 months 3 weeks ago
My Essence My Soul
Hello, Que,
Spiritual beings in a human world, as the adage goes. True and relevant thoughts in this brief poem.
Thank you!
L
Que
6 months 3 weeks ago
Chaos of Emotions
Thank you for your kind words I'm exploring some emotions that I never knew existed but having suffered a significant loss this is the basis of my words. I apologize if it's difficult to know what I'm trying to say but the truth is loss in itself is a shattering experience mixed with memories, love, regrets, and hope. Thanks again for your kind words.
Que
6 months 3 weeks ago
Chaos of Emotions
Thank you for your kind words I'm exploring some emotions that I never knew existed but having suffered a significant loss this is the basis of my words. I apologize if it's difficult to know what I'm trying to say but the truth is loss in itself is a shattering experience mixed with memories, love, regrets, and hope. Thanks again for your kind words.