My Fireside Confession...

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

This poem effectively uses a variety of literary techniques to convey a sense of tension and longing. It employs a consistent rhyme scheme (ABAB), which helps to create a rhythmic flow. However, the poem could benefit from a more varied use of meter to enhance this rhythm and make it more engaging to the reader.

The imagery in the poem is vivid and evocative, particularly in the first stanza with the mention of "Sex, sax, and smooth whiskey," which sets a sensual, intimate tone. The use of the phrase "secrets beside the fire" also adds an element of mystery and intrigue.

However, the transition between the second and the third stanzas could be smoother. The sudden shift from fear to love can be jarring for the reader. It might be beneficial to add more transitional language or imagery to bridge these contrasting emotions.

The final stanza is effective in its simplicity and directness, but the phrase "There's nothing left to say," could be rephrased to add more depth or complexity to the speaker's emotions. Overall, the poem could benefit from a deeper exploration of the speaker's feelings and the relationship between the speaker and the person they are addressing.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Wow! Smokin' Hot! tenner sax always gets me in the mood! I think you are sure to win with this poem. These are my favorite lines:

Sex, sax, and smooth whiskey,
secrets beside the fire.

*major hugs, Cat

I caught the romance and the heat and your supernal needs. No need to fear I'm sure she loves you too! Great job! Whatever people say or do, it dosn't really matter. The gold is right there in your heart, you've proven it in the past!

If you've got some time please check out "Meeting of the Minds", which I just posted! Give me some feedback.

...that first line is a real grabber. Just a suggestion, but S2L4, how about something like
"I'm riding on my fears" or something that suggests overcoming fears...or something...just a thought.
It seems you're into blues. Good luck in the contest!

Thomas

Keep the sax and the whiskey, till later. The sex did me fine. Loved it. Alex

Hi, Geezer,
Really enjoyed this, and I agree - that first line is a grabber. I do wonder about the final line. The poem seems so intense from both perspectives: those sultry eyes full of desire, and then the reference to such pounding of the heart. Makes me feel as if love is no longer "hoped" for, but gratefully and amazingly "realized."
Love this one!
L

Greetings Geezer,

Great rhythm, rhyme and flow. Excellent imagery and mood setting delivered with passion and brevity. Nothing like good music and whiskey to ramp up the love.

Well done.
W