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P
Punchie
Nov 20, 2022 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
This poem is part of the contest:

Neopoem Of The Week Contest November 20th to 26th 2022

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My Friend's Pain

Alright.
“Iʼll be alright” she spoke to me
“Eventually”.
Was that to mean
As time goes by?
After the event?
After all events?
After all the event had went.
But “Whens” are dead
As Time has stopped its clock
And no second hand will measureʼ whysʼ
So long I listen
So dumb and dumber I become,
And syncopated intermittent
Shocks
Sear my novice heart
We walk In post apocalyptic grief,
We trudge the thicker darker path
Towards the stronger straighter run unto the finish line?

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Australia, Perth

More from this author

Comments

Geezer

Geezer

2 years 7 months ago

Standing by...

your friend during a time of grief. I mean grief from the loss of a relationship. It's tough, listening to the stories you watched already. Seeing the bravado one minute, " I'll be alright." to the "What am I going to do without her/him, you.?" Let's hope that
your friends have stamina and can get you back on your feet again, quickly. ~ Geezer.
.

Lavender

Lavender

2 years 7 months ago

My Friend's Pain

Hi, Punchie,
I can see that this would be about a broken relationship, but it speaks to me in other ways, too. Perhaps a friend who is ill, or lost a loved one. Apocalyptic grief feels very intense. Actually, the last three lines feel very important, but I'm a little confused with the meaning, especially punctuated with the question mark. I'll be back to read again after you respond.
Thank you,
Lavender

P

Punchie

2 years 7 months ago

My Frinds Pain

Thanks Lavender for taking the time
Yes the last line is about some grief that wont end or you don't know if there will be an end which is worse(hence the question mark)
its attempting to explain the confusion and ignorant helplessness of trying to walk with someone elses pain and shock that is now forever and the old life is gone
That pain is my teacher.
The death was of a daughter, a brilliant nurse at San Francisco emergency hospital and of a single Mum(my Friend) who received the news.
Thanks again for your response