My Gals I Seek

A turmoil
a resurrection
in between some yellows
few softer grassy greens
they wanted to me preen

sad they all vanished from the screen
where once I alone had solitary been

''Hope you hear my palpitating heart
and
remember we all are not blind
keep loving the real musical poet in me
and
keep in mind
where all I have been
in this world so sublime
just ask me''

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: UNIVERSE...ETERNITY C/O ME, ROU

Favorite Poets: All across the Internet whom I read , and they inspire..

Comments

lovedly

5 years 1 month ago

hello 15

This poem I composed
riff raff kind... three years ago
lost the site ...now after a struggle got back modified my old poem/// about the turmoils of those gals f that time when I also was young l
ol thanks 15

lovedly

5 years 1 month ago

my gals I seek

'twill be
ur 15 taking so much interest in teaching me
thanks
where in Europe do you belong
I keep passing by often
rgds

lovedly

5 years 1 month ago

now now

who can be better than you for teaching me 15

Gracy

5 years ago

Lovedly, masterful writing, I

Lovedly, masterful writing, I enjoy reading your poetry. I agree with Teddy about the title. All else is good, except some lines seem to force the end rhyme, such as the ones below:

few softer grassy greens
they wanted to me preen

Perhaps you could change preen for an inner rhyme, not at the end. After all, it's FV, you have no rules to follow. The musicality will not be lost. Anyway, that's my 2 cents. Gracy

lovedly

5 years ago

Thanks grace for reading my ...FV

If only you could advise
I may become a bit wise
no surprise
it's my surmise