Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Jul 20, 2022
⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
My Heart
Thump, thump, thump goes my heart
It’s erratic rhythm is off the chart
I can’t breathe, it’s tearing me apart
Thump, thump, thump goes my heart
Involuntary responses doing their part
Keeping me alive, like stop motion art
Thump, thump, thump goes my heart
Surrounded by darkness, I hate this part
I can’t believe I’ve made it this far
It’s all because
Thump, thump, thump goes my heart
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Rosewood Apothecary
2 years 11 months ago
Hello
Welcome to the site. Everyone else will be along in a bit.
Well done here. It’s free verse but it’s sort of not. It’s really close to being really structured albeit an arbitrary rhythm but they do sort of all read the same.
Excellent job with the onomatopoeia,
Tim
MindOfGator
2 years 11 months ago
Hello!
Thank you so much! I really appreciate it!
Candlewitch
2 years 11 months ago
dear Mind of Gator,
excuse me, but did you know there is an alligator in this picture? are hope you aren't the one taking the picture...cuz he (or she) has a really hungry look on his/her face!!! oh, by the way, I liked your poem, too.
welcome to neopoet, don't be shy, now, read other's poems and tell us what you think!
*hugs, Cat
MindOfGator
2 years 11 months ago
Hi Candlewitch!
MindOfGator
2 years 11 months ago
Hi Candlewitch!
MindOfGator
2 years 11 months ago
Hi Candlewitch!
MindOfGator
2 years 11 months ago
Candlewitch!
Geezer
2 years 4 months ago
Wow...
Sorry I missed this one. It is very good, because I understand where you are coming from. Sometimes, I/we all feel like that; as if we could just shut down and let the rest of the world go by, but our steadfast heart won't let us. It just keeps chugging along. I am glad that yours does, because I really enjoyed your view here. Keep writing! ~ Geezer.
.
MindOfGator
2 years 4 months ago
Hi Geezer!
Hi Geezer!
Thank you so much! I usually write to clear my mind. Words are how i deal with the world. Thank you for your support and encouragement!
MindofGator