Rula

Dec 30, 2018 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

My Humble Perspective

When God created
The beauty He
Created the bird,
The grass,
And the tree,

He created the
Colorful mountain,
The sublime ocean,
and the sea,

He put
The twinkling star
In the darkest night,

And the golden sun
To warm the heart,

And He created
Thee

Version#2

When God created
The beauty He
Created the
nightingale chanting
for free

He created
An ocean
Churning with emotion

He created a
Lively sun,
And a lustful
Moon,

He created you.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Jordan, JOR

Favorite Poets: I favor the ones who are closer to humanity and , Poets are humanity when the world lose it.

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

raj

6 years 6 months ago

Great perspective Rula about

Great perspective Rula about the Creator and His Creation

Just wondering if a comma is necessary in the line..

He, put
.............................................

Rula

6 years 6 months ago

Dear raj

Appreciate the read and the spot on correction.
Thank you!

raj

6 years 6 months ago

Rula

I was drawn to this poem to absorb it's gentle beauty. Just a thought would 'warm the heart" be a good alternative?
............................................

Rula

6 years 6 months ago

Raj

I implemented as suggested. I added a new version too .
What do yoy think of version #2?

raj

6 years 6 months ago

I prefer Version 1

I prefer Version 1
............................

Rula

6 years 6 months ago

Thank you for your honesty

dear raj... I like version # 1 better too.

zebra

6 years 6 months ago

Your experienced at this Rula and its not without its goodness But I think you know deeply that this is old ground the way it pegs everything down The sun is high the seas are deep kinda thing
The question is what now? Can you surprise your self, find new neuropathways, find new language
try something suggestive instead of drama of the obvious?

Rula

6 years 6 months ago

Thank you Z

I totally agree. I think I've rushed this one.
I've added a new version with some real edits.
I think you will like it. What about you?

Rula

6 years 6 months ago

Thank you Z

I totally agree. I think I've rushed this one.
I've added a new version with some real edits.
I think you will like it. What about you?

zebra

6 years 6 months ago

Hi

Better :)
What about me are you asking?

Rula

6 years 6 months ago

Yes

Sorry. I wanted to ask what do you think about it.
I am glad you think it's better.
I think I'll keep the two versions for some time. I always prefer what pops first in my head and spontaneously write itsel. :)

Rula

6 years 6 months ago

Appreciate

Passing by this one Mark, and the time.
Each has his own beliefs I think.
Thank you!!

Rula

6 years 6 months ago

Hello April

I thought I sent a reply to your comment this morning. Not sure what has exactly happened.
Welcome to Neopoet dear and many thanks for reading and liking my thoughts.
Highly appreciate it and looking forward to reading your works
Soon
Many thanks.