05/25 My Last love poem 🏆 Winner

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My Last Love Poem

Though tempted by the silver moon,
the sigh of waves along this shore,
I hesitate to rhyme too soon
about your features I adore.

I long to kiss those lustful lips,
to hold your fevered hand in mine,
to burn against your sultry hips
and feel the earth quake up my spine.

Yet, here I stand, alone, beguiled,
with only this last thought of you
to temper these words, boldly wild
while facing what I know is true.

You are a dream, a wish I cast.
My poem, thus, remains my last.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Only a dream...

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Country/Region: United States

Favorite Poets: I tend to read Ted Kooser, Jim Harrison, Billy Collins, Paul Simon, Robert Frost. I like minimalist poetry, and poems reflecting on nature and Mother Earth.

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Comments

Rula

1 month 3 weeks ago

Hello dear Lavender

What a powerful return. A beautiful sonnet, the least to say:) If I may suggest adding "that" to Line 4 , 1st stanza to read
about your features (that) I adore
so as to keep the syllable count steady through out the piece.
Best wishes.
Thank you for sharing.

Lavender

1 month 3 weeks ago

Hello, Rula!

Thank you for your kind words! A sonnet seemed appropriate for a last love poem. Hmm... I tried to keep each line to an 8 syllable count, and I think that line is also 8, but I'll look again. Thanks, always, for your suggestions and generous help!
Take good care,
Lx

Rula

1 month 3 weeks ago

Sorry

That line is also 8.
My apologies dear

Lavender

1 month 3 weeks ago

All good!

Thank you for your keen eye and knowledge!
I'm always grateful!
Lxx

Geezer

1 month 3 weeks ago

Exactly...

the kind of poem that you might write about a dream, an erotic dream. We all know that those kinds of dreams are just the kind when the mind gets bored and we wonder if... Well done, ~ Geez.
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