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T
ThisIsMe
Oct 13, 2019 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

My Leaves

The seasons change but I remain the same

Standing firm in my failures

Rooted deep in remorse

If only I could be like the trees

And shed my dead, burdened leaves

I cannot shake them but at least

They start to change tones

Slowly, subtly, their colors emerge

Beauty from decay

Waiting to drop and sway

Helplessly to the earth

 

The seasons change but I remain the same

Swept silently like the sea

Receding ceaselessly on the shore

Fading in and out of existence

Always half there

Always half gone

About This Poem

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: North Carolina, USA

Favorite Poets: Charles Bukowski, Emily Dickinson, Lord Byron, Lorna Dee Cervantes, Tennyson, Walt Whitman

More from this author

Comments

Barbara Writes

Barbara Writes

5 years 8 months ago

Hi

I can relate to this heartfelt piece..ive been there and know the never ending wave of emotions coming and going.....great write ..love the flow of emotion gelt in this piece

T

ThisIsMe

5 years 6 months ago

Re

Thanks so much, glad you enjoyed it!

S

Sparrow 42

5 years 8 months ago

TIM

I think you have written a very good piece here,
I will leave it to the form poets
and punctual ones to correct any small things..
But to me it is all great,
Yours Ian

T

ThisIsMe

5 years 6 months ago

Re

Thanks for the feedback, I'm glad you liked it!

Rottiestyl

Rottiestyl

5 years 8 months ago

Very nice. . .

The first line made me think immediately of Led Zepplin’s “ The Song Remains The Same”. You held that to the end. Besides it being well written the one thing I can suggest is to no spaces between yours lines except a space between the first stanza and second. Easier to read but that’s just me. I need read things several times to get the full meaning if the words, lines etc. are spread apart. Either to scattered or not enough.
Up to you, just a personal like of mine. Nice piece though!

T

ThisIsMe

5 years 6 months ago

Re

Yes, I can definitely see how it may seem choppy with the division of the lines. It's kind of my style, I almost always write one thought at a time, but for this poem, I think you are right. It might be more cohesive to combine it. I will think about that. Thanks!