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Rula

Jul 27, 2018 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

My Mom, My Moon (Sunku)

Pizza
and apple pie
that's ambrosia

Showers
of blessings
are cleansing home

Her face
resembles
that of the moon's.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Eastern

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Jordan, JOR

Favorite Poets: I favor the ones who are closer to humanity and , Poets are humanity when the world lose it.

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Comments

R

7 years 2 months ago

a fine Sunku Rula about a

a fine Sunku Rula about a home maker's dream..you need to correct the spello about cleansing

third stanza could also be like

crescent
in my sky [meaning home]
reflects the mood
...............................................

7 years 2 months ago

Raj

Thanks for reading and the correction. Much appreciated

R

7 years 2 months ago

i also edited my comment with

i also edited my comment with a suggestion
..............................................................

7 years 2 months ago

A very good one

Way to go dear raj!
I think I need to work more on the subtext thing to amaliorate

R

7 years 2 months ago

it's a very small change I

it's a very small change I have proposed to you Rula
..................................................................

R

7 years 2 months ago

Rula

you have missed n in cleansing...
..................................

7 years 2 months ago

Ooops

Not again. Pah! Damn those tired eyes. :(

R

7 years 2 months ago

dear Rula

it happens to everyone...good to see you posting Sunku

good night
............................................................................

7 years 2 months ago

wow

I was at the Apple Farm
@KINGSTON
wish had realised
your ambrosia
earlier

7 years 2 months ago

Hope

You've enjoyed it anyway lovedly

7 years 2 months ago

yes but of course

now when you walk my page
it's a pleasant surprise

7 years 2 months ago

Thanks

Lovedly for the kind words

R

7 years 2 months ago

may be this

that of the moon's. [a crescent moon]
......................................................................

7 years 2 months ago

Thank you raj

for the thoughtful read.
I thought the change to (crescent moon) won't meet my mother's full moon face, or at least what I see in her:-)
Thanks for your endless support my friend.