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My Music Man
I sit and cry, here all alone
my head only filled with thoughts of bones
I feel so dead, like rotten fish
to feel alive is my only wish
but then there out of the blue
a window appears and leads to you
my music man, the love of my life
the one that comes to me in my strife
i push back the shudders, and step on the pane
leave my dirty world, where it has begun to rain
i step into a bright forest, where fairies surely live
then into my music man's arms to get a hug he wants to give
he wraps me in song, and ties me up with a bow
then sings a lovely verse about a lonely old crow
My eyes are open for the very first time
and all these words come to me, but in rhyme
I can taste the breeze instead of feeling it
smell the birds like a fire that's been lit
touch the noises like you would a child
this isn't scary and it isn't wild
my music man has opened more than my eyes
he's opened my world and i won't ever cry
About This Poem
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Viviana Smith
4 years 8 months ago
thanks
sorry grammar and me don't quite mix. The thoughts filled with bones lines represents thoughts of death. I'll fix my grammar