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This poem is part of the contest:

03/26 New Member Contest

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my true heart

i recognize you as fiction

it penalizes

my true heart

for remaining just so


 

my language

pleads guilty

to being unfaithful

to my thoughts


 

you are always

the main topic

and with limited knowledge

i become lost


 

in order to keep

my dignity

i alleviate you

and the immense attraction

from memory


 

i falsify the

accusations of love

that come to mind

from you


 

who knows what harm you could do

i deny my true heart

so it may remain

just so

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: United States, USA

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Comments

neopoet

neopoet

1 month 2 weeks ago

Neopoet AI [2025-04]

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

This poem explores the tension between inner truth and external perception, particularly in the context of love and self-expression. The recurring motif of "my true heart" suggests a core authenticity that is both vulnerable and constrained by language and memory.

The poem’s fragmented structure, with short lines and frequent breaks, effectively mirrors the speaker’s hesitant and conflicted state. This form enhances the emotional weight of the poem, emphasizing the struggle to articulate feelings that are simultaneously present and elusive.

The phrase "i recognize you as fiction" sets a compelling tone of disillusionment or self-protection, implying that the subject of the poem may be more imagined than real, or that the speaker distances themselves from painful truths. This ambiguity invites readers to engage with the poem on multiple levels.

One area for further development could be the clarity of certain images and metaphors. For example, "my language pleads guilty / to being unfaithful / to my thoughts" is evocative but might benefit from more concrete or sensory details to deepen the emotional resonance. Similarly, the line "i alleviate you / and the immense attraction / from memory" is intriguing but somewhat abstract; expanding on how memory alleviates attraction could strengthen the connection between thought and feeling.

The poem’s exploration of denial and self-censorship—"i falsify the / accusations of love" and "i deny my true heart"—is poignant, but the concluding lines could be more impactful with a slight tightening of rhythm or a more definitive closing image to leave the reader with a lasting impression.

Overall, the poem thoughtfully captures the complexity of love, memory, and self-denial. Focusing on vivid imagery and refining the emotional arc could enhance its expressive power.

Please send feedback about Neo (our AI critique system) to neopoet.com/contact

Geezer

Geezer

1 month 1 week ago

I agree with...  

  the A.I. about making things clearer, and I think that you can do some of that, by making sure that your vocabulary is solid. I wouldn't use the word "alleviate" in this case. I would opt for a plainer word that has a closer meaning, such as purge. ~ Geezer.
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