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The Bottom Line

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MYTHS (meter shop)

There dwell within the mists of times long past
the roots of tales and myths we pass along
which help to tell us what is right and wrong
and perhaps how our future lives are cast

an attempt at iambic pentameter*

About This Poem

Last Few Words: parsing is my bane

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Frost, Burns, Longfellow, Poe, and Johnson. I guess you've noticed these are all past masters. Other than folks on site I don't read any contemporary poets .

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Comments

wesley snow

wesley snow

11 years 9 months ago

Only the last line is a problem.

"Perhaps" is accented on the second syllable. You are accenting the first. Read it aloud and force the iambic meter and you will find that "PERhaps" doesn't work. It will sound strange. If you begin the line with "perhaps" it will work.

"Perhaps / it's how / our fu- / ture lives / are cast."
Otherwise, all Iamb all the time. 

S

scribbler

11 years 9 months ago

Hi ya'll

I'm making it a point to not use dictionary to assure that accents are correct. PERHAPS (lol) I should have this time. I'll let this stay as is for a bit so others can learn from my mistake.............stan