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This poem is part of the contest:

Neopoet Weekly 07/20/25 to 07/26/25

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Named: Love

Before we named this feeling “love”,
We spoke in glances
Wrapped in longing –

Held tangible in the silence...
Love isn’t loud,
But laced with patience

It is the breath of wind
Blowing across your lips
Sending chills up your spine

The twinkling of stars
As the hours come to rest
With a heavy sigh

And when the sun peeked over the horizon,
You reached out your hand—
I placed mine gently in yours

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

About the Author

Region, Country: GA, U.S.

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Comments

neopoet

neopoet

2 months ago

Neopoet AI (premium) [2025-04]

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

This poem explores the concept of love before it is explicitly named, emphasizing subtlety and quiet connection. The structure is composed of short stanzas, which mirrors the understated and intimate nature of the subject. The use of enjambment and line breaks, especially in the opening lines, creates a sense of anticipation and longing, aligning with the poem’s theme.

Imagery is central, with references to glances, silence, wind, stars, and sunrise. These natural elements evoke a sense of universality and timelessness. The metaphor of love as a "breath of wind" and the tactile imagery of "blowing across your lips / Sending chills up your spine" effectively convey the physical and emotional sensations associated with early love.

The poem’s tone is gentle and contemplative, reinforced by phrases like "Love isn’t loud, / But laced with patience." The choice to focus on quiet moments rather than overt declarations aligns with the poem’s thesis that love is experienced before it is named.

The final stanza, with the gesture of reaching out and placing hands together, provides a concrete action that grounds the poem and offers closure. The transition from abstract sensations to a tangible act is effective in bringing the poem full circle.

There is some reliance on familiar imagery (stars, sunrise, sighs), which could be further individualized to deepen the poem’s impact. The poem also tends toward abstraction in places ("Held tangible in the silence"), which may benefit from more specific detail or sensory language.

Overall, the poem’s structure and imagery support its meditation on the quiet, unnamed beginnings of love, though it could be strengthened by introducing more original or unexpected details.

Please send feedback about Neo (our AI critique system) to neopoet.com/contact

Geezer

Geezer

2 months ago

This piece...

embodies the strong silence of love, as it slowly evolves and stalks a heart. I would change the tense of the last verse to match the beginning two, making those last lines read: 

"And when the sun peeks over the horizon,
You reach out your hand- 
I will gently place mine in yours..."

~ Geez.

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