Blue_Halcyon

May 15, 2016 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

This poem is part of the contest:

May 2016 Contest - Triolet - $25 Amazon.com Gift Card Prize

(Read More...)

Nature's Crown

Awakened by the rains of spring
The flowers bloom to woo the bees,
The wrens build nests and then they sing.
Awakened by the rains of spring
The daisies braided in a ring,
A child’s bright laugh rides on the breeze.
Awakened by the rains of spring
The flowers bloom to woo the bees.

About This Poem

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Florida, USA

Favorite Poets: Sylvia Plath, Rumi, Kahlil Gibran, Edgar Allen Poe, Lewis Carrol, Yeats, Bukowski, Langston Hughes, Johanne Wolfgang von Goethe, ect.

Comments

Keith Logan

9 years 1 month ago

Quite liked

This is one of the better efforts in this very tired, restrictive form.

Blue_Halcyon

9 years 1 month ago

:-)

Thanks, Keith. I'm glad you enjoyed the poem. I'm not much for restricted forms, but I thought I'd give it a go.

judyanne

9 years 1 month ago

nice Blue

Good triolet
is it missing the toy?
I wasn't sure if all three themes had to be included. ...

Good rhythm and rhyme
best of luck in the contest
love judy
xxx

Blue_Halcyon

9 years 1 month ago

Daisy Chain?

I thought a daisy chain could be considered a toy - a floral crown used by little princesses everywhere. ;-)

judyanne

9 years 1 month ago

of course

I'm often a bit thick - missed that
xxx

Blue_Halcyon

9 years 1 month ago

Since you first mentioned it

Since you first mentioned it I've been thinking that I may need to reword that line to clarify it a bit.

jane210660

9 years 1 month ago

I like this, it has a lovely

I like this, it has a lovely sunny feel to it - full of hope and good things to come. Jx

Rula

9 years 1 month ago

Nice one blue

I think reading anything about Spring lifts the spirits. So I have to say I liked this one.
Thanks for sharing.

PS. I haven't include the three themes in my triolet and no one mentioned anything about it. Maybe no one thought it's a winner anyway lol :)

judyanne

9 years 1 month ago

sorry Rula

I didn't mention it to you as I wasn't sure really what the rule is - I'm still not sure
I only mentioned it to Blue as I saw she'd used two, and I wondered if I'd missed one - which I had lol
xxx

Esker

9 years 1 month ago

tulips today..daisies the morrow'

I dont write constructed form
but do have a love of reading it
this is very delightful
and refreshing

thank U!

Sparrow

9 years 1 month ago

Blue

This can only be the Blue of the Bluebell as it heralds the Spring, so does this , lovely write.
Even this old man made daisy chains when a young child, they adorned others as necklaces or as tiaras for princesses a very fresh Spring this is..
Yours as always, Ian..xx