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Jan 31, 2016
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Near Sunset, in the Spring
By a lake,
one day in April,
I sat toasting marshmallows
as field mice turned
discarded fedoras
into a park
of imagined possibilities
existing,
entirely,
without my daydreams.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: This is an example for the February 2016 Contest. It is presented for illustration purposes and will not be included in the contest pool of entries.
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Rula
9 years 4 months ago
An exemplary
piece indeed Johnathan.
Thank you for sharing.