alidzain

Mar 09, 2014 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

This poem is part of the workshop:

The right amount of imagery (let's begin)

(Read More...)

The Negro Speaks Of Rivers by Langston Hughes(Stan's Imagery WS)

I've known rivers
I've known rivers ancient path,.wilder and longer than the
flow of the blood in my veins.
My soul has grown strong like the rivers.

I used to swim in the Euphrates when the days were young.
I built my house near the Congo and it took me awhile to find sleep
I looked upon the west and raised the pyramids of hope
I heard the song of the Mississippi when Abraham Lincoln
went sailing to New Orleans, and I've seen its clear
bosum turn to gold in the sunset.

I've known rivers
Ancient., dusky rivers

My soul has grown strong like the rivers

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
the original assignment from Stan

I've known rivers ancient ..... ..... ........... and......... than the
flow of ........ blood in ........... veins.
My soul has ..... ..... like the rivers.

I.... in the Euphrates when .......... were young.
I built my ..... near the Congo and it ..... me.... to... sleep
I looked upon the ........ and raised the pyramids .... ..
I heard the .... of the Mississippi when ........ Lincoln
went.......... to New Orleans, and I've seen its.............
bosum turn .... ..... in the sunset.

I've known rivers
............, dusky rivers

My .......... has grown ..... like the rivers

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: How was my language use?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: singapore, SGP

Favorite Poets: Emily Dickinson, Robert Frost, Sarojini Naidu and friends in Neopoet.

Comments

Seren

11 years 3 months ago

Alid

I am not sure of the problem your having on a quick look it seems you have done a splendid job, its 5am here I have to sleep but I'll be back later today with a full critique, well done on a difficult assignment.

Love Jayne x

alidzain

11 years 3 months ago

Thanks, love

nighty-nite, don't let the bedbugs bite

Alid

raj

11 years 3 months ago

Alid

I too feel that you have done a great job in double quick time given the degree of difficulty of the assignment...let's see how the original poem unfolds in due course of time...cheers!

alidzain

11 years 3 months ago

Thanks, Raj

for the visit and kind comment.

Alid

China Blue

11 years 3 months ago

Alid

Seems to look just fine to me. It reads very smoothly nice job

alidzain

11 years 3 months ago

Thanks, Chrys

To be honest, I'm actually worried when I get this assignment.

Alid

China Blue

11 years 3 months ago

Alid

Yes we take our writing seriously but on the other hand a workshop is there not to tell who is right or wrong but to learn from each other so please do not feel worried about anything that is done here we are here to help each other out not to point fingers so to speak. I had been away for quite some time but coming back I was greeted by this workshop and am enjoying every minute of it. As I said before it looks like you did a fine job
I wouldn't think of it as an "assignment" it is not a class room ,no one is going to grade you. it is more of an exerise in writing so relax and enjoy the ride.

raj

11 years 3 months ago

Hi Chrys

I wish to clarify that in my comments in the workshop threads I referred to this workshop and exercises as Class room and assignments just to give it a tinge of humor. I entirely agree with your comment above that we are here to help each other for value addition and enjoyment. So, if my comments have in any way been perceived as otherwise, I stand corrected.