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Rula
Rula
Dec 17, 2024 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Neopoet's Bards and Others

Some feast on dainties, dressed in finest silk,
And travel forth towards the furthest star.
They rest on roses, bathe in whitening milk,
They're hardly touched by any worldly scar.

Some feed on scraps and bear the heavy chains,
They wander where no mirth could ever land.
They sleep on thorns to weep eternal pains,
Where utmost grief extends a hurting hand.

But NEO's bards live on the ink and words,
They rest on worn-out sheets and dream of peace.
They soar with warbles and concerted birds,
And spin their songs until the world-wars cease.

They pluck the blinking stars and knit their glow,
A shining tapestry to tell and show.

About This Poem

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Jordan, JOR

Favorite Poets: I favor the ones who are closer to humanity and , Poets are humanity when the world lose it.

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

More from this author

Comments

Geezer

Geezer

7 months ago

Hello Rula...

I will take this for the odd version of an English sonnet.
I would have preferred to have had a more regular rhyme scheme, but no matter; it is a wonderful way to see the poets of Neo. Yes, we are of so many different backgrounds and visions; that is one of the things most great about Neopoet.
I'm always impressed by your insight. Good luck in the contest. ~ Geez.
.

Rula

Rula

7 months ago

Sir Gee

Thank you as always for reading and giving a constructive feedback. I would have liked to be directed as to where I deviated from the abab, cdcd,efef, gg rhyme scheme
Much appreciate it
Thank you.

Geezer

Geezer

7 months ago

My mistake...

I meant meter. The rhyme scheme is indeed, correct. ~ Geez.
.

Rula

Rula

7 months ago

I also

Want to make it clear that the first two stanzas are not necessarily talking about the Neopoet's Bards. Only the third one (where the volta is) come to specifically differentiate between Neopoet's bards and others (other types of people)
Please let me know if this needs to be clarified in a way or another.
Thank you again.

Geezer

Geezer

7 months ago

Nope...

I think it is clear enough. ~ Good job ~ Geez.
.

Rula

Rula

7 months ago

Thank you sir

again for your kind visit and the supporting comment. I did some edits. Hope they work well.

Ruby Lord

Ruby Lord

7 months ago

This is lovely, in particular

This is lovely, in particular the final couplet.

They pluck the blinking stars and knit their glow,
A shining tapestry to tell and show.

The imagery of plucking stars and knitting their glow, offers a hopeful and uplifting ending.

I think your first line could be revised to refine it, Some dine on dainties, clothed in finest silk,
to aid the rhythm?

Well done, I am impressed. Ruby xxx :)

Rula

Rula

7 months ago

Hello Ruby

Thank you for your kind visit. I am happy to know that you like my humble sonnet. It's a work that I am proud of really as it reflects my love to this space. I've been here for years and Neopoet has endlessly given me more than I needed to grow with my poetry.
.
I also appreciate your suggestion. I like the word dainties
and will certainly use it.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Always appreciate it.

mark

mark

7 months ago

Hello Rula nice nice

A smooth modern Sonnet you did a great job.
I'm thnking that whitening milk may be a bit confusing to some.
bellywarming ? bellywarm ?
bellywarm milk hmm
Good luck,
Mark

Rula

Rula

7 months ago

Hello Mark

Long time not seen. Hope all is good. Happy holidays' season.
Thank you for visiting and commenting
Belly warm? Not sure what does that word mean.

mark

mark

7 months ago

Variation I ran

That's all just a variation of bellywarming or soothing to the stomach.
Mark

Rula

Rula

7 months ago

Hello Stan

So many thanks for visiting my sonnet. You keep claiming that you don't know how to write sonnets and I insist that you are a very special talented bard who penned some special ones.
I always highly value your visits to my humble poetry.
Thank you!

Lavender

Lavender

7 months ago

Neopoet's Bards and Others

Hello, Rula,
A captivating sonnet - I really like the contrast to "others" and can sense the fulfillment poetry brings to the members of Neopoet. Very nice!
Thank you!
Lx

Rula

Rula

6 months 4 weeks ago

Hello dear Lavender

Thank you as always for your wonderful comments. You know how is our (Neopoet') bards relation. You can't find this in any other poetry sites. We're a real family here and a true friendship bounds all together.
I appreciate your visit and the support.
Looking forward to reading yours. I know you've a lot to say in Neopoet's Love.:)

Rula

Rula

6 months 3 weeks ago

Thank you sir

always appreciate your visits, your thoughts and comments.