Amazing Rita

Oct 22, 2017 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Never Giving Up

Giving up is not an option.

you've come too far to yield,

always be in motion,

ward off all depressions with a shield

life isn't for the indolence,

so, fend off all challenges and turbulence.

.Sometimes we just want to let go,

seems life is always not fair,

despite fake facade and public show,

we groan secretly in despair,

you aren't going nowhere going backwards,

'cos the way forward is forward.

In my few decades on earth,

I have seen that nothing lasts,

my coming to life thru' birth,

means i have to hold on fast

I must dust off failure and try again

until i get my gain.

only the dead are hopeless,

choiceless they're so they remain dead,

I am alive and must be dauntless,

obstinately looking ahead

giving up never is the rule of the game

there's a solution to any problem, no matter the name..

when life hurls me with stones and rocks

fires me with bullets, bombs and missiles,

I 've to convert the rocks to blocks

and from them build best tiles

life isn't for the weak

I got to leave my comfort zone for what I seek.

I may not be where I want to be

Or gotten all I need

I just hav to persist like the bee

'cos life is a troubled sea

I must learn to swim,

Or sink.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: it is a poem of ten stanzas, i just submitted two stanzas.

Review Request Direction: How was my language use?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Nigeria , abuja, NGA

Favorite Poets: 1. Niyi Osundare, 2. Wole Soyinka

Comments

Geezer

8 years ago

Hi Rita...

Welcome to Neopoet. We hope that you will find the kind of support that you are looking for and we are looking forward to a long and happy relationship with you. We have many workshops that you may find useful and interesting and someone will help you with finding your way around and if you have questions. Now to the critique. First off, don't number the stanzas. Your language is good although a couple of instances seem to be reverse order for key words.
1] Did you mean to say that life is [always] not fair or life is not always fair?
2] A fake façade is a double negative of sorts. Façade meaning a fake front.
3]You are going nowhere, going backwards, because the way forward is forward? [ is straight ahead]
or something of a similar nature.

Post the rest of the poem already! We can handle ten stanzas!
Hope that these things help and as always, these are suggestions, to use or not, as you choose.
~ Geezer.
.

Eumolpus

8 years ago

Make the poem about you

This is more a speech, a lecture. What you have said is true, life is not fair. We know..

The process of becoming a poet starts with you the person, your experiences, your time/place on this
planet. Rather than deal in universal truths start with you. The universal truths you hold dear will come out as a combination of imagination, love of words and images, and symbolism-

Most of us poets started the same way. We have to learn to write first about the world right in front of us. And read a lot of poetry!! Welcome.

Chiori

8 years ago

Hey Rita

Nice poem but you should write more about your self your experiences, just like Eumolpus have said

Amazing Rita

8 years ago

I am grateful

I really appreciate all the comments. looking forward to writing better.

Eumolpus

8 years ago

Hi Rita

You will not be alone. All of us writers, and the writers of world renown, look forward to being writers.It never ends. Enjoy the process!! Read a lot of poetry.

I love Wole Soyinka..he has a way of making everything personal. I first read O Roots! and I was sold.

I recommend you have some fun and read this brilliant and readable essay about how to approach being a poet https://www.poetryfoundation.org/articles/69402/the-triggering-town

If you do, tell me what you think!

Eumolpus

8 years ago