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New Lovers At Saturday's Soup Kitchen
They are new lovers
swept into that strange intensity
of sudden pleasure's fumbling delight,
where eagerness and want make mind reject
all proprieties of limit
and urgency demands both touch
and captivation.
She is willow-slender, thin of face,
not beautiful yet feminine,
filled with pale grace
born of strength of purpose
spoken in the tumbling of squealing children
giggling their play about her feet;
only one is her's, the others fostered,
but close now to adoption,
seven faces light and dark together
laughing in the simple joy
and certain knowledge of her care.
He is younger, muscular and taller, round face
fringed with beard, depth of calm and
quiet self-realization belying youth,
his only child blond and older
already part of her and hers,
and he smiles deep and cherished
at the warmth of his new family,
contentment urging up
the corners of his mouth.
And I watch them in the church, in pause
between plates of food we give
to those in need,
and in the midst of quiet sanctuary,
strangers' gratitude and children playing tag
she stands before him, legs apart,
her body reaching for his gaze,
one hand upon his chest,
the other lingering, delicate
upon his cheek as he bows down,
shoulders coming off the wall behind,
hands large upon her hips,
eyes lingering on her breasts,
drinking of her body,
looking up and into her's;
they smile,
and they forget,
and so do I.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
Race_9togo
14 years 8 months ago
Thanks Rosina
The last verse was what I started with, I had it in my head, written there on my way home from work this morning, lol.
Glad you enjoyed it so much.
Kailashana2
14 years 8 months ago
a social commentary, a love
a social commentary, a love-poem, truly soup for the poetic heart....
thanks Jim
p.s. the last three lines are unforgettable.
Race_9togo
14 years 8 months ago
You are welcome
Yeah, those last three lines, those are what I started with, lol.
Social commentary was not my original thought, I just wanted to set down the incident, which was bright and intense, to me.
But, you know me, so long-winded a half-dozen other things can waft in at any time, lol.
Glad you liked it, Anna.
Rhiannon1010
13 years 9 months ago
Wow
This poem ranks right up there with dickenson and frost! a beautiful write
Race_9togo
13 years 9 months ago
Hi Rhiannon,
Its good to know people are still reading and enjoying this one!
Thank you.
Rhiannon1010
13 years 9 months ago
good
good poetry will always be read and enjoyed