Nighttttime

If the light of the Moon
Is to be my crown
And the Venus star; an emerald within--
Then the hold of the night
Is its weight upon my head

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

Country/Region: Colorado

Favorite Poets: William Blake, Poe, Yeats, Crowley

12 years 5 months ago

Of the weight of darkness upon one

12 years 5 months ago

I agree with Beau on this one and in the fourth line I think that either hold or whole would work, that hold of night would weigh heavy

There used to be a club special at our old site ? Are you the same person ...

Regards Jayne-Chloe

12 years 5 months ago

That would be me, recognized your photo