Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Up to no good!
Destination mischief
riding beach cruisers
through tenement halls.
We'd bellow out an
obnoxious call.
Just to see if anyone
would open their doors.
Then We'd head for
the town center.
We'd buy some fries
and splatter ketchup
on passing cars.
Always carrying
a little bag of tricks.
A wrist rocket, a valve stem loosener,
a mirror and a bag of ripe olives.
using them for our own
kind of fun.
We were'nt afraid of anything
and we never got caught and sent
to juvenile hall.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: This is how we spent our days along with seasonal sports played out in the street. This was just our kind of fun and we never hurt anyone. Our childhood days seemed to go on and on. Maybe this isn't much of a poem, but it was lots and lots of fun!
Review Request Direction:
How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Obadiah Grey
5 months 3 weeks ago
"A wrist rocket, a valve stem
"A wrist rocket, a valve stem loosener,
a mirror and a bag of ripe olives.
using them for our own
kind of fun"
Well. here is a stanza that intrigues,
one that I hope you will not explain
but rather leave for my tastebuds
to salivate and savor upon.
I find your poetry is best read and enjoyed ,,, r e a l l y s l o w l y,,,
and it is poetry, please don't doubt yourself.
Loved the whole of this,,,,,
Obi.
Leslie
5 months 3 weeks ago
Obi
I'm glad you enjoyed tis piece. Thank you for your reply.