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Nov 25, 2014
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No Second Chance
Don't tell me you're sorry,
that I'm your man, not just a friend
I refused to repeat old history
and let you play your game again.
Did you forget how you insult me
after I caught you with another?
How you cursed and spat at me
and mock me with your laughter?
I used to feel sore, staring blankly at the door,
losing focus as memories haunt me,
my mind swollen with thoughts of blood and gore.
I want you dead for toying with me!
Well I have survived it splendidly
and I've thrown you out of my life.
Good riddance, poisoned cherry,
I'm glad you're not my wife.
Now you came to me, teary-eyed,
asking me to take you back
but I'm telling you to take a hike
'cos I don't need a wreck.
My heart is dead to you
so don't seek for my love.
If you want to find its killer
just look into the mirror.
So begone and don't bother me again.
Fare thee well, Mrs Pain
About This Poem
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Rula
10 years 7 months ago
I really like this
Especially the last two lines.
Those who don't value you heart well need not your thoughts.
Put a full stop and start a new line.
Well done.
wesley snow
10 years 7 months ago
I don't like this one
as much as your others. Something poetic is lost in the rant. There is such anger in the voice that the lack of a consistent meter makes it stop and start too much for me.
I go now to read something else by you and expect to be pleased by the event.