Barbara Writes

Oct 17, 2014 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

This poem is part of the workshop:

Can you make a limerick serious?

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Description:

The very form of the limerick makes it sound humorous.
This short workshop sets the very simple exercise of writing a limerick, true to form, with entirely non-lewd or humorous content. Content of a serious, philosophical, beauteous or emotional nature.
Far more difficult than it sounds.
It will teach us a lot about form versus content.

A limerick is a five line poem, written in anapaest with often cataleptic elements. . The meter, though important, is the lesser requirement to the rhyme structure.
The first, second and fifth line rhyme. The third and fourth lines rhyme. Usually the third and forth lines are shorter.
AABBA
These rules can not be broken.
If you are unfamiliar with the form it is imperative you Google it and read some. You will find them all, without exception, rude and or humorous.
Hence the challenge.

My favourite un-rude, humorous limerick

There was an old lady from Clyde
who ate forty apples and died
the apples fermented
inside the lamented
and made cider inside her inside.

Leader: weirdelf (Jess)
Moderator(s): Wesley Snow
Scribbler (Stan)

Objectives: To write a serious limerick

Level of expertise: Open to all

Subject matter: Limericks
If you are unfamiliar with the form the Wikipedia article is not bad
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerick_%28poetry%29
and a Google search turns up some good examples.

I be taking a fairly hands off approcach to this workship, asking members to critique each other's limericks.

Do not forget to select "Can you make a limerick serious" from the workshop droplist at the bottom of the Submit a poem page and put (Limerick Workshop) in the title

I've decide to use SondCload https://soundcloud.com/upload-beta as way for us to record our limericks and let each other hear them. If your computer doesn't have a microphone, don't worry, the workshop will work anyway, however do try to recored your limerick and post the URL of your recording. Limericks sound best aloud.

Let's start with a discussion of the form.

This workshop is closed.

Not A Word Out Of Me

Its sad, I really hate talking to your a~~
As you miss the exit home, I let you pass
We are leaving the Children Hospital with our daughter
And her two daughters, ugh those dead beat fathers
The cardiologist insist its a behavior problem and all she needs is a whack.

A Perscription for discipline he ordered
And that's not sitting well with my daughter
Now she is pissed saying, “he just wasted my time”
Not a word out of me, a zipper is mine
As he continue to drive miles on I-77 unbothered.

Silently inside I'm laughing “ha”
As he drives toward Charlotte, my eldest son miss his ma
I sit by this cretin, not a word out of me, controlling my tongue
I'm just not in the mood to argue about directions with this scum
He never listens, always talking smack saying, “got education and still dumb, what.

Now he sees Killian Rd ahead
And realizes he missed the south bound exit instead
Back on the road to Columbia, he turns right
Now he glances at me knowing not to ask “why so quiet?”
Turning into his favorite Chinese diner he's seeing red

He hates when I use the gps on my iPhone
So, I let him find his own way home
Just as I expected, he’s blaming me for it all
Unconcern, breaking my silence, I asked, “you'll stop by the mall?”
A Victoria Secret bag and a new iPhone case and I'm having a ball.

I'm not looking for your tlc, I'm just fine
I'm listening to music on my new iPhone five
With my gold and white avon headset
There is almost three hundred songs on my handset
For when you turn the car radio volume too high just to start a fight.

I love to talk, but you tune me out, talk over me, pretending you didn't hear
I tune you out and put my headphones over my ears
But, then you turn up the volume and tell a lie "I can't hear the radio”
Then say, “it's my car” “you don't like it? Then get out, there's the door”
Any other time you boast “I can hear a rat pee on cotton”. “go! jump off the highest pier”.

About This Poem

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Billy Collins, Shakespeare, , Emily Dickinson, , , Whitman, Jess Tapper

Comments

lovedly

10 years 8 months ago

I have taken it upon me to remove as many from unread lists

I have taken it upon me to remove as many from unread lists
Jess says its okay
but don't take me amiss
here its becoming disgusting to post
none read
at least we don't come to know

on other sites so many read
and also comment
I don't lament
about 1000 read /visit my poetry
I feel happy
can Stan or Ian do anything about it

Only i salvAge unheard ones
its a misfortune.disgusting
to have been in doldrums
many have been unread over weeks
mine also though not too often

Barbara Writes

10 years 8 months ago

Same here

But not so often unread. Since you comment on this I'm gonna revised it based on what Im learning in Jess workshop limericks.

wesley snow

10 years 8 months ago

Were you aware this is in the limerick submissions listing?

It's certainly no limerick as the title claimed. Did you want it there? I'm dreadfully curious as to why you posted such a powerful "non limerick" there.

Barbara Writes

10 years 8 months ago

Ahhh

I thought it was. Bc I rhyme it AABBA. Me so silly. i will remove it

wesley snow

10 years 8 months ago

Never unpublish.

Regardless of what rules it followed, it is lovely poetry and should never be removed. Its accidental placement is romantic. Fate leaving a piece of the poet in an inappropriate place with a marvelous piece of work.
Never, ever unpublish.

Barbara Writes

10 years 8 months ago

Wesley

Thanks I didn't unpublish it, but removed from the shop was that unwise. The things you say make me feel it's okay to be the weird one lol..

lovedly

10 years 8 months ago

though i was also ignorant

WS advised no sentence
for incorrect publication
as unpublishing
is not a right decision

so I stand unchained
my para remains here incontained

Barbara Writes

10 years 8 months ago

Okay

There will be no unpublishing
Of any work I published
The typos and inaccurate grammar
will feel my editor's hammer
and become discarded rubbish

wesley snow

10 years 7 months ago

Good answer.

Look at it this (oof) my way (grunt)... sorry, just climbing up on my soap box. Used to be easier.

This is not an ordinary poetry website. This is NeoPoet, a workshop environment. I know of only one self contained website that concerns itself with betterment and it is an ugly climate. No grace really, if you ask me, but since you didn't...
The only other place one may go to actually STUDY how to write poetry is the University level and that costs money.
There are other ways to learn also. READ! Read poetry yes, but read about poetry... its history, its form, it proponents.
But in the end you will need what every artist so desperately requires: a human to look at their art and say something. That something can be a compliment certainly. Delightful to get, but utterly useless (at least to me... I want to grow). Or best, it can be increasingly informed individuals helping others become increasingly informed about poetry.

This means yes, Barbara... NeoPoet doesn't want your best. That's already taken care of. Show it to us certainly... we'd love to read it, but what would we do with it? Marvel and go on...
No, NeoPoet wants your worst. It wants what needs to be helped... it wants to give us maniacs something to do.

Help a poet change a poem for the better and in the process learn something of our own poetry as well.

Could somebody help me off this thing?