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Jun 01, 2025
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Nothing but grey sky
Today there is Nothing but grey sky Later on is going to rain I have been walking For 1 hour already I am not made of ice I am made of Flesh and bones Also it is very cold out It is -9 with the windshield effect I miss the sunny days During the Spring That I need so bad I also missing the vitamin d That I need so bad Now it is time to check my Blood With the glucometer My reading was normal The glucometer never lies Now it got dark inside my house It is time for me to turn the Lights on Inside my house And inside my house is now bright And the night is here I must say that I am feeling Tired Already so I am going to try To go to bed early today I am not sure about the weather Tomorrow Yes I hope to be up early tomorrow AIso I left all the windows open So I could air my house And I also will be awaken By the birds
About This Poem
Last Few Words: That is a new poem Written by AIdo Kraas
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
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Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Not actively editing
Comments
neopoet
1 month ago
Neopoet AI (Premium) - version 3.0
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
Consider revising the poem to enhance clarity and emotional depth. Currently, the poem reads as a straightforward narrative of daily events and observations, which limits its poetic resonance. To strengthen the piece, consider the following:
1. **Imagery and Sensory Detail:**
The poem mentions grey skies, cold temperatures, and a longing for spring. However, these details are presented plainly. Expanding on sensory imagery—such as the feeling of cold air, the sound of rain, or the visual contrast between grey skies and bright indoor lights—could create a more vivid atmosphere.
2. **Emotional Depth and Reflection:**
The poem briefly touches on feelings of tiredness and longing for sunny days. Consider exploring these emotions more deeply. Why does the speaker miss spring and sunlight? How does the weather impact their mood or perspective? Delving into these aspects could add emotional complexity and resonance.
3. **Structure and Rhythm:**
The current structure is somewhat fragmented, with short, declarative sentences that do not build rhythm or flow. Experimenting with line breaks, stanza organization, or varying sentence length could help create a more engaging reading experience.
4. **Language and Word Choice:**
Some phrases ("I am made of Flesh and bones," "the glucometer never lies") are literal and straightforward. Consider using more figurative language or metaphorical expressions to convey meaning in a more nuanced way.
5. **Consistency and Grammar:**
There are grammatical issues ("I also missing the vitamin d," "with the windshield effect," "I also will be awaken") that distract from the poem's content. Addressing these grammar and wording issues will help the reader focus on the poem's intended meaning.
By addressing these areas, the poem can move beyond a simple description of daily events toward a richer, more layered exploration of mood, environment, and personal reflection.
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