Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Nothing but grey sky

Today there is Nothing but grey sky Later on is going to rain I have been walking For 1 hour already I am not made of ice I am made of Flesh and bones Also it is very cold out It is -9 with the windshield effect I miss the sunny days During the Spring That I need so bad I also missing the vitamin d That I need so bad Now it is time to check my Blood With the glucometer My reading was normal The glucometer never lies Now it got dark inside my house It is time for me to turn the Lights on Inside my house And inside my house is now bright And the night is here I must say that I am feeling Tired Already so I am going to try To go to bed early today I am not sure about the weather Tomorrow Yes I hope to be up early tomorrow AIso I left all the windows open So I could air my house And I also will be awaken By the birds

About This Poem

Last Few Words: That is a new poem Written by AIdo Kraas

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
[This option has been removed]

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Not actively editing

About the Author

Country/Region: Ontario

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda, Patrick Friesen, Michael ondatje

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

More from this author

Comments

neopoet

neopoet

1 month ago

Neopoet AI (Premium) - version 3.0

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

Consider tightening the poem by focusing on imagery and emotional resonance. Currently, the poem contains several literal descriptions and repetitions ("I need so bad," "inside my house," "glucometer," "weather tomorrow") that dilute its emotional impact. To strengthen the piece, consider condensing or removing overly literal details (such as the glucometer reading and the exact temperature) unless they serve a clear symbolic or thematic purpose. Instead, expand on the emotional significance of the grey sky, cold weather, and longing for spring. Clarifying the poem's central theme or emotional core could help readers connect more deeply. Additionally, the poem would benefit from more deliberate line breaks and punctuation to enhance rhythm and readability.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact