Candlewitch

Nov 23, 2011 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

November (updated!)

November

ominous is the sky
roiling clouds in shades of gray
reminders that all things die
no mention of rebirth now

portents of the dying
from the horizon
no time now for crying
so wipe the trears away

winter crisp in the air
harbinger of death's decay
while stiff wind strips branches bare
through them falling flakes do dare

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Northwestern Wisconsin USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Edgar Allan Poe, William Blake, Bob Dylan, Tom Petty, Carlos Castaneda, Jim Morrison, the whole of Neopoet and many more.

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

lou

13 years 8 months ago

Cat

perfectly chillng, great stuff. Can't find fault.

lou

Candlewitch

13 years 7 months ago

Hey Lou,

Thanks for reading and responding.

always, Cat

Candlewitch

13 years 7 months ago

Thanks Lonnie,

I'm glad you liked it! We are still waiting for snow!

always, Cat

wesley snow

13 years 8 months ago

Excellent.

The only thing wrong I can find with this poem is a possible typo in the last line of the second stanza. Sorry. That's all I got. wesley

Candlewitch

13 years 7 months ago

Dear Wesley

Thank you for reading and commenting!

always, Cat

weirdelf

13 years 8 months ago

Sorry, Cat

but perhaps a tad cliche? Another winter poem.

Candlewitch

13 years 7 months ago

Hi Jess,

Sorry you didn't like it, but thanks for reading and commenting. I always appreciate the truth of ones feelings.

always, Cat

loved

13 years 7 months ago

All can't like... all

Sometimes grey matter is needed,
To enjoy snow fall on branches,
It does not behoove the likes of me,
To say anything else,
But excellent,
To those who are in paper published...
On computer stuff we know
Can be lost,
To the lack of current flow,
And to hackers
None know...

Candlewitch

13 years 7 months ago

Thanks Loved,

Lovely to see you.

always, Cat

scribbler

13 years 7 months ago

hi Cat

Very foreboding. Only obvios change to suggest is line 2 stanza 2.I think your intnt was to use clipped lines to reinforce the content but this line is a bit too clipped to convey intent I think. And there's nuthin' wrong with winter poems lol.....................stan

Candlewitch

13 years 7 months ago

Hi Stan,

It is wonderful to have you back with us! I hope all your computer problems are solved and behind you. Have a great winter season.

always, Cat

Nordic cloud

13 years 6 months ago

something staccato and stark

I feel here that it has something staccato and stark
and yet doesn't quite do that, just a matter of
making it a little more sharp, even borrowing something
from nonsense rhyme, not the humour!

Like the beating of a drum, sounding the doom of Winter.
How I am not sure.

Branchs-branches?
Trears-tears

Ann