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Obdurate
I am disconnected, a broken circuit...
With no light behind my eyes.
This apathy has made me certain,
Of where our untrodden path now lies.
Once normal glances turned suspicious,
Gazes avoided, emotions slide.
Attacks of isolation vicious,
I search for an abstract place to hide.
But these fleeing feet they find no refuge,
For my shield is now what shuts me out.
I do my best to try to reach you
But I cannot breach your wall of doubt.
My hands grope for a course of action
But I cannot see the steps to take,
As every word is weighed with reaction
This path outlined with my mistake.
Blood cannot purchase my atonement,
Otherwise, I would be bled dry;
For Mercy seems to be absent
Or indifferent to my cry.
About This Poem
Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Roscoe Lane
9 years 10 months ago
Excellent,
Excellent poem, Regards Roscoe...
Sparrow
9 years 10 months ago
Blue
I second what Roscoe has said.
Did you ever escape from that situation or was it just being stubborn lol.
Great to see you here writing, Take care,
Yours as always, Ian xx
ShoddyWorkmanship
9 years 10 months ago
I love the flow of this and
I love the flow of this and it really seems to hit me with it subject matter in my life right now. Excellent poem. Thank you for sharing.
Esker
9 years 10 months ago
perspective of creativity
excellent word use....
the mth like placement of writing is
excruciatingly good!
thank U
Izzi Reinier
1 year 2 months ago
Your poem, Obdurate
Hi Blue Halcyon
"Obdurate " is truly wonderful and so refreshing to read .
You weave an illuminating " Roadmap " throughout the piece which conveys perfectly the subject of the poem.
A fine Wordsmith you are in my humble opinion and thank you .
Regards
Izzi