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Objections overruled about using the word (shh...) it? No way!
The word "it" is a pronoun,
a word used in place of a noun
to refer to a person, place, thing, or idea.
As a pronoun, "it"
is a third-person singular form
used as a subject or object
within a sentence.
I do not like starting, ending,
nor using the word it in a sentence
because ambiguity prevails
about what exactly it refers to whence
yours truly prefers the specificity
of more precise person, place or thing,
and attempts to be more definitive
versus leaving the reader
perched on a figurative fence,
thus I will go out of my linguistic way
to pause how to express intention hence
phrase a question or statement atypically
to escape the vagueness it connotes
even though any other ordinary person
asking what might be straight forward
entails the unwitting recipient
what competes as a dissertation
or novel to read at their sanity or expense
and no doubt smoldering rage
rises within their being
far surpassing a nearby
fire breathing amazing dragon,
who gets as angry as a red bull
igniting impossible mission to quell
essentially tossing out the book
how to resolve a win/win conflict
applying sensibility and sense
out of the question so...
the choice modus operandi
necessitates to carry on camping
despite the rancor being intense.
Honest to dog,
I did not expect a near apocalypse
figuratively shooting from the hips
taking poetic license
to express my aversion
against speaking or writing
the word with the two letters
each pronounced as eye and tea respectively
(taboo to me, and more offensive
then any expletive),
now I promise to keep sealed lips
for all eternity
exception to the rule being quips
reiterating penchant to steer clear
of couched Freudian slips,
where the idler wheel wiser
than the driver of the screw
and whipping cords
will serve you (a vip)
more than ropes will ever do
end of poetic endeavor
from one fascinating mensch,
who resides within 19473 coded zip.
There might be compatibility yet
even though this wordsmith,
even though, or maybe because
author of Perkiomen Valley, Pennsylvania
a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma,
especially if your figurative appetite
for comprehension I did whet
because all joking aside
just because I shun the word coded as 9-20
(so called the A1Z26 cipher
or letter number cipher)
doth newt make me a threat
but more to the point this doggone
could be your human therapy pet
and if the cosmic bodies align
we could create our own little kinglet
be it as it may, but...
methinks thee might well hurl unprintable epithet.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft
Comments
neopoet
3 weeks ago
Neopoet AI [2025-04]
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:
This poem embarks on a complex and ambitious exploration of the pronoun "it," focusing on its ambiguity and the poet’s personal aversion to its use. The poem’s strength lies in its conceptual daring and its attempt to weave linguistic reflection with humor and metaphor. However, several aspects could be refined to enhance clarity, cohesion, and impact.
1. **Structure and Pacing**: The poem is presented as a single, dense stanza, which makes it challenging to navigate. Breaking it into smaller stanzas or sections could help readers digest the ideas more easily and provide natural pauses that emphasize key points. For example, the initial explanation of "it" as a pronoun could be one stanza, the personal aversion and its consequences another, and the metaphorical imagery (dragons, red bulls, therapy pets) yet another.
2. **Clarity and Focus**: The poem oscillates between linguistic commentary, personal reflection, and metaphorical flights. While this can be engaging, some transitions feel abrupt or convoluted. For instance, the shift from discussing ambiguity to the “fire breathing amazing dragon” and “red bull” imagery is vivid but somewhat disjointed. Clarifying the relationship between these images and the central theme would strengthen the poem’s coherence.
3. **Language and Syntax**: The poem employs a conversational and occasionally playful tone, which suits the subject. However, some lines are syntactically dense or awkward, such as “attempts to be more definitive versus leaving the reader perched on a figurative fence.” Simplifying or rephrasing such lines could improve readability without sacrificing nuance.
4. **Use of Figurative Language**: The metaphors (fire-breathing dragon, red bull, therapy pet) are imaginative but could be more tightly integrated. For example, the “fire breathing amazing dragon” and “red bull igniting impossible mission” seem to symbolize frustration or anger, but their exact role in the poem’s argument is somewhat unclear. Expanding or refining these images to more explicitly connect to the poem’s theme would enhance their effectiveness.
5. **Tone and Voice**: The poem’s voice is distinctive and confident, with moments of humor and self-awareness (“Honest to dog,” “this doggone could be your human therapy pet”). Maintaining this voice is a strength, but balancing it with moments of restraint or subtlety might deepen the emotional resonance.
6. **Ending and Resolution**: The closing lines introduce intriguing ideas about compatibility, mystery, and potential connection (“if the cosmic bodies align / we could create our own little kinglet”), but the final line’s suggestion of “hurl unprintable epithet” feels abrupt and somewhat jarring. Consider revising the ending to provide a clearer resolution or a more nuanced closing reflection.
Overall, the poem’s inventive approach to a common linguistic element is commendable, but refining its structure, clarifying its imagery, and smoothing its language would make the argument more compelling and accessible.
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