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S
scribbler
Nov 26, 2017 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

OBSERVER OBSERVED

There's a wren here at my house,
Every midmorning he's there.
I've never seen him with his spouse.
He must keep her hid somewhere.

But every day he's at my deck
hopping doing what wrens do.
A little jaunty brownish speck
at the door which I look through.

He has become set in his ways,
each day he makes his wrennish rounds.
(I wonder upon what he preys)
Far as I know he makes no sounds.

He'll stop, it seems, to study me
on his daily habitual way.
Sometimes I wonder does he see
me writing my drivel every day.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Structured: Western

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Frost, Burns, Longfellow, Poe, and Johnson. I guess you've noticed these are all past masters. Other than folks on site I don't read any contemporary poets .

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Comments

Gunnar Hedlund

Gunnar Hedlund

7 years 7 months ago

no, he only did it the once...

...which were more than enough! lol.

only kidding, The Man.

'at the door that I look through'
slides better, methinks, as does,

'He's very much set in his ways....

(I wonder what upon he preys),
his actions activate no sounds.'

enjoyed. thank you.

g

S

scribbler

7 years 7 months ago

Hello

Appreciate your time to read and comment. And your suggestions will be considered when this scribble gets its inevitable edit

S

scribbler

7 years 7 months ago

Hi loved

Perhaps the wren composes its own type poetry but we just don't know how to perceive it. What humorist do you refer to?

S

scribbler

7 years 7 months ago

hi loved

The real world has been soaking up a lot of my time lately

swamp-witch

swamp-witch

7 years 7 months ago

Stan,

A great depiction of these hippity hoppity little birds. They and mocking birds are the ones that wake me up too early. I forgive them for it though, because they eat bugs.

I don't think you've ever written a piece of drivel in your life!!! I think Gunnar's suggestions are sound except the one to reverse "what" and "upon", but you know it's up to you.

Kelsey

S

scribbler

7 years 7 months ago

Hi

I once had a neighbor who owned a rooster that crowed at 4 in the morning........very tempted many times to have fried chicken lol. I'm still thinking about edits for this poem and all suggestions will be considered when I sharpen my edit pen. Good to see you drop in for a visit.......stan