Seren

Apr 26, 2013 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Obsessive Hands

abreast of nightshade tipping the moon
hands of iron cupped my desire coaxing me,
into the shadow-lands of my obsession

the shades moved
as your fingers found their mirror,
and iridescent trails of dark-light
kaleidoscope across my skin

I have visions of your hands
and their movements,
I feel a rush of want
to pull in their need

obsessed
I watch each wave
within every gesture

I draw them closer
until your fingers
cradle me
in shadows of night
and within the palms
of your hands

all that remains
is the jay feathers
and maple leaves
drifting onto my heart

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Beyond the Black Stump..Australia, AUS

Favorite Poets: Pablo Neruda, P.K.Page, W.H.Auden, to many and various to include them all ...

Comments

Josephus

12 years 2 months ago

Very darkly sensual,Jayne. I

Very darkly sensual,Jayne. I enjoy reading this as I do all of your poetry. I have a question though. You use black and its numerous overtones as a strong theme or device in your poetry. What does this allagory symbolize to you?
Thanks my wise and lovely friend,

Joe

Seren

12 years 2 months ago

Dear Joe

mostly I write from the heart, with a lot of my poetry there is another message below the surface, I have of late been dark in the telling I often write of hope and love and light and all that entails

I am so glad you liked this one, its been a long time in the writing,

thanks for the visit and thanks for the title suggestion on my other poem its already changed

love JC xxx

nokros

12 years 2 months ago

wow...

I am bowled over. Such a superior write...."abreast of nightshade tipping the moon"

Seren

12 years 2 months ago

Thanks very much

I appreciate your time and thoughts on this

sincerely Jayne-Chloe

Ross Hamilton Hill

12 years 2 months ago

abreast of nightshade tipping

abreast of nightshade tipping the moon
into the shadow-lands
shades moved
as fingers found their mirror,
and iridescent trails of dark-light
cross skin

watch each wave
within each gesture
draw fingers closer
to cradle me
jay feathers
and maple leaves
drift onto my shoulder

I've been reading your poems without commenting, love a lot of your phraseology but think you need to be more ruthless. Leave room for the readers' imagination to flourish.

Seren

12 years 2 months ago

Hi Ross

I have had a spell of being uninspired I am slowly writing and just taking each day as it comes I will take your advice and see where it takes me, thanks for reading :)

love JC

Ian.T

12 years 2 months ago

Jayne

A most beautiful write, with all the emotion and lovely words to caress our minds.
Lovely to see you are a little rested and once again watching the beauty around you,
Now damn well go out and embrace that beauty you are worth it,
Yours Ian.T

Seren

12 years 2 months ago

thanks for the read I am

thanks for the read I am really tired but happy to be home :)
will catch up with you tomorrow my batteries need charging

love and hugs JC