Ode to my chest infection

Oh, chest infection,
Why have you come in my direction?
I scrub myself daily,
nice and gleaming clean,
Yet you inhabit my body,
Making me cough up yellows & greens.

I can't sleep while you party deep in my chest,
I need some sleep goddammit,
Give it a bloody rest!
You are messing with my thermostat,
Making me feel all hot, then cold!
Can you please stop doing that!
Why won't you do what you're told?

My chest is creaking like old floorboards,
Covered every inch by fire,
All night I'm flipping coughing
My pillows cannot go any higher!
I've sucked on strepsils,
Taken lemsip and beechams for flu.
Even had a red-hot bath!
You don't give up, do you?

Well tomorrow my friend you're for it;
To the doctors I will go
To get my antibiotics
And put an end to your show!
Arrange your assassination,
Swallow the tablets down whole,
I will feel much better,
And out on your butt you will go!