Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Apr 07, 2024
⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)
Offer All
Make it an adventure,
an adventure guided
by the confines of love
And every turn
Every beat of your heart
Must see and say
And sing it softly
Just enter, -total!
glorious!
and without reserve,
saying, "I show all"
Ooh! and to offer all
To offer all!
O sweet, sweet heart
Could you offer all!
About This Poem
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
neopoet
1 year 3 months ago
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
It is not feasible to offer feedback.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Lavender
1 year 3 months ago
Offer All
Hello, Tyro,
I feel the energy here! Amen! I do wonder about the word "confines" as it seems there are no confines to love as you've described. Seems it would be vast, endless, and freeing!
Thank you for this energetic and inspiring poem!
L
tyro
1 year 3 months ago
Hi Lavender
think of it this way; you can go on an adventure to exact revenge, or primote evil, or satisfy vanity,etc. What I meant, do nothing that is outside the sphere of love. because this was misunderstood I will think of a way to make my intent more clear.
thanks for your thoughts.
Candlewitch
1 year 3 months ago
Dear tyro,
It is very nice to see AI made speechless for a change! In line four, try deleting the word (and) read it without, see if it doesn't feel and sound right to you? more smooth? I really like the premise of this poem! there is nothing not to like about it...great job!
*hugs, Cat
tyro
1 year 3 months ago
hello Candlewitch
you are right, it does sound better without the and in line four.
I guess a poem based solely on triggering a high emotional responce, would leave an emotionless AI without words.