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Nov 25, 2023
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This poem is part of the challenge:
November 2023 Challenge Write a Love Letter To The Sky
Oh wonderful sky
Oh wonderful vastness,
Perfect sky.
Perspiration vessel,
Beauty that makes me cry.
Clouds so fluffy,
Pillows of joy,
Create artist’s landscape,
We visually enjoy.
And when I sit,
Taking time to wonder.
At the shapes,
In your vastness yonder.
I’m left so grateful,
For the sky you are.
Amazing and wonderful,
The greatest gift by far.
About This Poem
Style/Type: Structured: Western
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
neopoet
1 year 7 months ago
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "Oh wonderful sky" captures the awe and appreciation for the beauty of the sky. The imagery of the clouds as "pillows of joy" and the sky as a "perspiration vessel" adds a unique perspective to the poem. The use of descriptive language helps to create a vivid picture of the sky and its impact on the speaker.
One suggestion for improvement would be to consider varying the rhyme scheme or adding more complex poetic devices to enhance the overall structure and depth of the poem. Currently, the poem follows a consistent AABB rhyme scheme, which can make the poem feel predictable and less engaging. Experimenting with different rhyme patterns or incorporating other poetic devices, such as metaphors or similes, could add more layers of meaning to the poem.
Additionally, the poem could benefit from further exploration of the emotions and personal connection to the sky. While the speaker expresses gratitude and wonder, delving deeper into the specific reasons behind these feelings could strengthen the emotional impact of the poem.
Overall, "
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Lavender
1 year 7 months ago
Oh, Wonderful Sky
Lovely! It flowed so freely and eloquently - just as a poem about love for the sky should!
Thank you,
L
Tigger Kaz
1 year 7 months ago
Always appreciate your feedback
Thanks for your feedback.
I love your poetry, and do always appreciate your feedback.
I often feel as if the bot doesn’t quite get poetry.
Lavender
1 year 7 months ago
You are most welcome!
And I also feel that AI doesn't seem to understand poetry very well.
Thank you again, for such a graceful poem!
L
Rosewood Apothecary
1 year 7 months ago
Agree with Lavender
Got a great flow. It’s a breezy read and the feeling is lighthearted and uplifting. Keep your head up.
Tim
Tigger Kaz
1 year 7 months ago
Thank you
Thank you for your feedback, much appreciated.
Sometimes it is good to pen a poem that isn’t as full on or heavy, as other poems I have written.