Old Clem!

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet’s AI:

The poem presents a portrait of Old Clem, a figure whose struggle with addiction and suffering is rendered through a series of vivid, melancholic images. The narrative arc follows Clem through cycles of pain, fleeting hope, and eventual demise, using natural imagery and references to time and memory.

The poem’s structure is consistent, with quatrains and a generally regular meter, though the rhythm is sometimes disrupted by enjambment and line length variation. This can create a sense of instability, mirroring Clem’s own turmoil, but it also leads to occasional awkwardness in the flow (“the moon with it's quaint soft beam” contains a grammatical error; “it’s” should be “its”). The use of rhyme is mostly regular, but some rhymes feel forced or predictable, which can detract from the emotional impact.

Imagery is a notable strength, with lines such as “canopied by the trees, / rain falls and dampens leaves” and “cold as the mountain air” effectively situating Clem in a tactile, sensory world. The recurring references to night, rain, and cold reinforce the poem’s mood of isolation and despair. The metaphor of “letting the silver reign” is ambiguous but evocative, possibly alluding to drug use (heroin or another injectable substance), which is consistent with the theme of addiction.

The poem attempts to universalize Clem’s suffering by ending with a question about “innate rights,” inviting the reader to reflect on broader social or existential concerns. However, this shift feels abrupt, as the poem has been closely focused on Clem’s personal experience up to this point. Integrating this thematic concern earlier or more gradually could strengthen the poem’s cohesion.

Some lines verge on cliché (“finding no sweet respite,” “calling out in the night”), and the poem occasionally tells rather than shows, which can lessen the emotional resonance. The depiction of Clem’s death is handled with some subtlety, though the phrase “as with a thorny crown” introduces a religious or martyr-like association that is not fully developed elsewhere in the poem.

Overall, the poem’s emotional intent is clear, and the use of natural imagery is effective in places. Greater attention to rhythmic consistency, avoidance of cliché, and more nuanced integration of thematic elements would enhance the poem’s impact.

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a little getting used to.

You will do fine! Although your work is a bit dismal lately, 
I like the effort that you have put into it. Only one near-miss in the rhyme and not really that noticeable.[air and here]. Hang in there buddy, the world is not all gloom and doom, there is still lots of love in this world. Other than the rhyme, I don't see anything to fix.  ~ Geez.
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I feel your mood, as the gloom is upon my spirit too. I liked the poem, but felt that the spacing of the lines was off, too far apart.  I hope that something comes along to pick up both our spirits to lighten the load. I am lighting a candle for you tonight.

much love, Cat

Hello, Leslie,

I, too, felt the heaviness here from both Old Clem and yourself.  You have such strong empathy, something the world needs more, and that many people lack.  This feels like it's from your heart - the foundation of poetry.

I'm having a bit of a hard time navigating the new site, too, but it's getting easier with each post.  (And I'm having computer issues - might need to get a new one sooner than I'd like.)

Take care, Dear Poet!

Lx