Once Upon a Dream: Part 2

You lean against your car
As I stand in front of you

Eyes locked on eyes
It's time to say goodbye

"Goodnight" I whisper as
I turn to walk away

"Wait" you whisper back
As you walk towards me

I turn back around to see you
Standing there

You grab my arm
And pull me in for a hug

Soft and gentle
Your touch lingered on my arm
Letting me go as slowly as possible

Just like my dream...

Last Few Words: This is part 2 of my poem "Once Upon a Dream"

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - draft

Region, Country: USA - Georgia, USA

Favorite Poets: Lord Alfred Tennyson, Robert Frost, Allen Ginsberg, Walt Whitman , Misha Collins, John Donne

1 year 7 months ago

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

It is not feasible to offer feedback.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

1 year 7 months ago

In reading your poem, I found these lines clumsy:

Eyes locked on eyes
It's time to say goodbye

try something like:

Our eyes intensely locked
Only time for our goodbyes

*Hugs, Cat

1 year 6 months ago

Thanks for the feedback and recommendation, Candlewitch! I'll play around with the wording some and edit it when it's ready!