One Poet's Story

It's 3 a.m.
and the paper is flipping off the pen
Will another verse ever find meaning
or will now just become the newest then?

Another hour
turns longing into a missing day
The pen spits back at the paper
and lends itself to be wiped away

and leaves us with
the silent crow of a morning hen
revealing words from the mid nights shadows
that once were lost, but are now here to stay.

About This Poem

Style/Type: Free verse

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: South Carolina, United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Edgar Allen Poe, Henry Rollins, Langston Hughes, Emily Dickinson

Comments

Sparrow

9 years 2 months ago

Bud

Not one for using explicit words, but should we have Cock instead of Hen? Then the mid and the nights must be drawn together, Midnight's but on reading again either will do.
This is a grand theme, as we sit here looking at the keys or a pen hovering above a virgin sheet, then the VDU blinks at us as if laughing..
Good luck on this one, good write,
Yours Ian..

eightmenout

9 years 2 months ago

Ian

I am not sold on that line, but hen is what I as going for. That is why the crow is silent. It's a play on words. Mid nights is separated purposely to give a range of time

Thanks for stopping by

Sparrow

9 years 2 months ago

Bud

Your points are good and as we now come to sort it there must be NO changes as the message is clear,
Yours Ian..

Keith Logan

9 years 2 months ago

Your questions

Hello eightmenout,
I should start by mentioning I enjoyed reading this poem.
addressing each question in turn
1) The title works but might I offer
A Night in the Life.. or, Inspiration.
2) The language is crisp and clear
3) Rhythm had an easy, consistent flow.
4) Poets writing about writing is always a winner.
5) Starting with a bold statement is also a winner.
6) The internal logic works for this reader

Rula

9 years 2 months ago

Dear Scott

Though I believe the morphing by the end is intended, I would have loved to keep the rhyme scheme set at the first two stanzas as it reads for me as a structured piece rather than a free one.
Oh me! I think I should nit pick on you any way as you asked for a raw truth, however, this one is really lovely.