Neopoet Weekly Contest 04/28/24 to 05/04/24

(Read More...)

The Opposite of Toil

She was never like work. In fact,
she was like walking up to an amusement park
with crazy-colorful signs, always promising excitement.

Like cotton candy too; maybe a little messy,
but always better to have it, regardless
of the colorful disarray others may see.

About This Poem

Review Request Direction: What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - polished draft

About the Author

Region, Country: San Francisco Bay Area - USA, USA

Favorite Poets: Bukowski, Billy Collins, Ted Kooser, Haiku & Harvey Kurtzman (a visual poet, of sorts)

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

Geezer

1 year 1 month ago

If this is about work...

I thought that this must surely be about a woman!
There are few other things that could elicit such a response from a man as you.
Unless, maybe it was a sleek, red car, powerful motor...
If it is... about a woman; I don't understand the title.
I thouroghly enjoyed this, as it brought to mind, the thrill of being smitten.
She was a combination of all the women I've ever dated or chased.
~ Geez.
.