an orchard of sticks

I hesitate at the opening because I think you type faster than you think lol...I believe it would read better as ' once he told me, 'love doesn't exist' because the tense is wrong there at the moment. I'd remove the 'for' in the 2nd line..I don't know but 'for' annoys me a little as a word, it sort of just hangs there. The rest is spot on so there...not so harsh? *hugs*

Ok I like it, I think you can update it to 'draft' now :P

I like this but i still see that the beats are not right
and the meter to short.
I did an edit i hope you don't mine
use it if you want or not it's just how I see it but it is your baby in the end.
I removed some words and added other to give it more punch in the face kind of thing
Because for me this is a good bye it's over poem.
Eddie C.

once he told me 'love does not exist' - I just think the "not" is a better
all the attention was on
his own needs
,
those he touched were left fruitless
to the feelings of others

blind faith bore no peace
for I knew that in reality
it only existed in his mind

with that
mine became a life
worth living

This is good, you paint him very vividly, and your choice of paths at the end makes the piece, imo.
I have no criticism, as I think Chez and Ed have covered it!
Thanks for posting, I enjoyed this one.

This is tight, concise, and emotional free verse. I felt the freedom experience at the end. Still, I wonder if it could be tightened up just a bit more?

May I take a liberty?

he told me once,

"love does not exist"

all attention
fed his own needs,
and left those he touched

fruitless

he was blind
to others

and

blind faith
bore no peace

I knew
his reality
existed only
in his mind

and mine

became a life
worth living

Just a thought.

I love the feel to this. It is reality in free verse which makes for an amazing statement. I enjoyed this very much. ~Pamela
..
.

... and personal, and as such it works!