Our Love

Like the sun shining at day break
on mountain peaks standing tall
Under white clouds moving quietly
Amid blue skies in stormy seasons
Our love makes lonely hearts
Wish for one more chance at love

Like rivers running wider than the eyes can see
Where the sunset falls slowly into deep valleys
Under reddish heavens resilient colors
Streaking the wind driven seas
Our love makes lonely hearts
Wish for one more chance at love

Like the full moon’s brilliant orange circle
Hanging low on a February evening
Under a darkening cosmic atmosphere
Shedding light for creatures’ night hunting
Our love makes lonely hearts
Wish for one more chance at love

About This Poem

Last Few Words: Taking a break from studying to write this and connect with My friends at Neoport. Studying hard writing programs for my Cobol Programming class. A brain busting class. Also doing projects for my End User support class. Both tough classes and teachers are really busting our brains. No breaks this semester. So far a B in Cobol and End user support. We are half way through with eight weeks to go. Whew

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Billy Collins, Shakespeare, , Emily Dickinson, , , Whitman, Jess Tapper

Comments

Barbara Writes

14 years 4 months ago

Hi Bee

appreciate. I think it sound good with your omit suggestions.

weirdelf

14 years 4 months ago

Wonderfully lucid Barbara

mmm, if this is what learning Cobol does for your poetry maybe I should take a course myself!

I'm not sure if those words exactly are the ones I would edit, but I agree with Bee that some slight pruning could tighten it up.

Barbara Writes

14 years 4 months ago

Hey Jess

I appreciate your comment. What would you suggest. i'm sure it would make this a good write also.

weirdelf

14 years 4 months ago

no no no

that's entirely your choice, just look closely, listen closely, consider the meaning and the sound, you know the drill.

Barbara Writes

14 years 4 months ago

Yeah I do

thanks for the reminder. I must pay attention more to the meaning and sound. Just wonder what you thought, don't mean I will change the meaning.

cheers

scribbler

14 years 4 months ago

hi

was wondering what had happened to you. a very enjoyable write...................scribbler

Barbara Writes

14 years 4 months ago

hi scribbler

college classes has much of my time. I'm trying to get pass these many projects and programs, rough but enjoying the learning

thanks for stopping by and commenting. I appreciate it much