OUR STRENTH

Forged by God,
yet perfect words i cannot find.
Only human,
fallen by a demons battle-cry.
Is this the norm for us normal,
Awaiting, looking for the wings
that in heart allow us to fly?

Icy mornings and dark sunsets,
the shadows always tainting.
Within the depths of hollow,
The soul always maintaining.
Forged by greatness,
this is our sadness,
yet for each day it is our strenth.

About This Poem

Review Request Intensity: I appreciate moderate constructive criticism

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Eastern cape, South Africa, ZAF

Comments

wesley snow

13 years 7 months ago

Now, since I like the poem...

... and have no need to pick on its structure, I'll be a turd and point out the little oopsy's.
First, a question. Do you compose on the computer? I'm betting you do and that's why you have more than the occasion "typo". I'm guessing that you compose on a keyboard and that you type rather fast. I've found that those who write on the keyboard produce more typos than those who write with pen and paper who are forced to write more slowly. Proofreading of course takes care of it all, but I think if you slowed down you'd have less to concern yourself with.
Or I could be wrong.
You have three "L"s in fallen. Lines five, six and seven in the first stanza are questions. And you left out the "G" in strength.
I recognize I'm kind of anal about spelling, grammar, blah, blah... but I can't help feel it's important to a writer.
Otherwise, a rather haunting poem.
wesley

reepa

13 years 7 months ago

So true

Once again thanks for your input and yes i do all of it on the
computer and i agree that most of my stupid mistakes come from typing
on the keyboard.
Important this stuff is and this is so true.

I think tonight ill sit with pen and paper for a change.

Many thanks wesley.

Z.S Godfrey