Roscoe Lane

Mar 28, 2017 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

Out of Flux.....

Out of Flux

I curled two fingers round my pen,
then gave it simple instruction.
To write of now as well as then,
no quarter given to minds fluctuant..

Rage, rage the scribbles tore,
across unsuspecting tree bark.
Anger now put to folk lore,
resounding just as song of lark.

Not every word could fill the verse,
try as I might I surely failed.
In academia did my brain immerse,
still some common sense prevailed.

I fought my anger as well as ghoul,
describing fears ecstasy of thought.
Comments on hard knock or school,
I left them just as maybe they ought.

Madness is never made overnight,
slowly it slips up by your side.
Best not prolong this fractious fight,
embrace like groom or reluctant bride.

So as you see I’ve slipped on over,
to a marriage short but never brief.
I dare you now to find your other,
then find addiction beyond belief.

About This Poem

Last Few Words: It's only temporary, I think....

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Scotland, Ayrshire land of Burns.., GBR

This user supports Neopoet so it can be free to all

Comments

weirdelf

8 years 3 months ago

Coool! And very clever,

sliding seamlessly between seemingly disparate issues.

It didn't scan quite right to me but rather than parse it for you I thought I'd do a reading, ok?
https://soundcloud.com/neopoet/out-of-flux

Roscoe Lane

8 years 3 months ago

Thank you Jess,

Thank you Jess, thoroughly enjoyed your reading. I'm going to look into sound cloud a bit more, see if I can use it. sorry for the late reply been a wee bit busy. Regards Roscoe....

Roscoe Lane

8 years 3 months ago

Thank you Mark,

Thank you Mark for your kind comments, as I said to Jess, sorry for the late reply. Regards Roscoe....

Geezer

8 years 3 months ago

Like this one...

a lot. Don't really care about the scan. It made sense and rhymed very well. ~ Gee.
.

Roscoe Lane

8 years 3 months ago

Thank you Gee,

Thank you Gee, glad you enjoyed. Regards Roscoe....

Keith Logan

8 years 3 months ago

If you care about the scan

You might end up with something like this, the changes are few and small.

I curled two fingers round my pen,
then gave it simple instruction.
To write of now as well as then,
with no mind’s fluctuation.

This same adjustment may be applied to the rest of the poem also.

Roscoe Lane

8 years 3 months ago

Thank you Keith,

Thank you Keith, like your example and I will certainly give it some thought. But i'm a wee bit busy at the moment. Regards Roscoe...

lovedly

8 years 3 months ago

we have never met ...yet since passed six years /////yet

Madness is never (made )?overnight

I feel maybe incorrectly
madness is a behaviour only

it originates from a so called mind set
may be it's only me
hope you will reconsider
the ''making'' of it

Roscoe Lane

8 years 3 months ago

Sorry,

Sorry for my late reply I have been busy preparing to move house. I get what you mean about madness, and will think of a change that suits the condition. Regards Roscoe....

Sparrow

8 years 3 months ago

A great start to this one then somewhere it went off line, I liked all of it but the power in the first part dissipated.
The poem seemed to need a curtain call, a final scene to wake the nerves in us resting nomads..
Yours as always Ian..

Roscoe Lane

8 years 3 months ago

Thank you.

Thank you for your comments, I will give the ending some thought. Regards Roscoe...