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Mar 30, 2013
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Outlands
It was late in history
the cities had flourished,
grown into bound structures.
Bounded by reflective walls.
Our England had shrunk
Into blobs of black glass
Surrounded by tilled land
The realm of machines
The out lands of growth
Machine controlled
Control from the city
Operators playing games
A game called survival
Between each city a link
The new inter city way
Compartmented travel
London to everywhere
City linked to city
Spaces of beauty kept
The in betweens of scenery
Fast travel nothing seen
Slow as fields past by
Trees kept aside the route
A foolish afterthought
Most knew of out life
The machines ruled
We needed nothing more
We became content
It was our end time
About This Poem
Last Few Words: My cave is inside the city wall.
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
Seren
12 years 3 months ago
wow
I am in bed but I decided to read this before logging out
I have many thoughts on this I will return tomorrow
Deep and very serious
Love always Jc xxx
Ian.T
12 years 3 months ago
Jayne
I hope your dream time fills your ways, tomorrow wake to better days..
Night Night x
Seren
12 years 3 months ago
Ian
This is a deep and serious poem, the imagery is wonderful and I found it a pleasure to read
This also shows a whole other side to your writing, I really enjoyed the change of pace, something I am doing myself
love always Jayne-Chloe xxx
p.s Hope your having a wonderful Easter
loved
12 years 3 months ago
My England had shrunk
wouldn't you like to share England as
OUR s,,,..
Ian.T
12 years 3 months ago
Loved
It is a pleasure to share England with you lol, not sure about MY Cave though lol, I could make you one next door, Yours Ian.T
loved
12 years 3 months ago
nice
u shared it
Frenchf
12 years 3 months ago
You have exceeded yourself
This is different Nd great but shouldn't it be inter city travel?
A game called survival
Between each city a link
The new iter city way
Compartmented travel
Ian.T
12 years 3 months ago
Frenchf
Thanks for your read and comment there was a slight spell error there, but I will retain the Inter City Way as I talked about other ways of travel between cities, and it was a future thing and maybe that's what they will call it, instead of link..
Thanks again for your attention to detail, it is much needed as I write and send without reading properly, Yours Ian.T