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Jul 09, 2023
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Panic Breathing
In
Two
Three
Four
Out
Two
Three
Four
Hold
Two
Three
Four
Repeat until
you feel
your body
release...
About This Poem
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft
Comments
neopoet
1 year 11 months ago
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
This poem, titled "Panic Breathing," is a minimalist piece that utilizes repetition and rhythm to evoke a sense of controlled breathing, often used as a technique to manage panic or anxiety. The structure of the poem, broken into four-line stanzas, each ending with the word "Four," mirrors the rhythm of the breathing exercise it describes. This clever use of form to reinforce content is a strong aspect of the poem.
However, the poem could benefit from a deeper exploration of its theme. While the current format effectively communicates the process of a breathing exercise, it doesn't delve into the emotional or experiential aspects of panic or anxiety. Adding lines that describe the sensations, thoughts, or emotions that accompany these experiences could provide a richer, more nuanced understanding of the poem's subject matter.
The final stanza, "Repeat until/you feel/your body/release..." is a departure from the established rhythm, which can be interpreted as a representation of the relief that comes after successfully managing a panic attack. However, this could be made more explicit or explored further to enhance the impact of the poem's conclusion.
In terms of language, the poem is quite straightforward and literal. While this can be effective in certain contexts, the use of more figurative or descriptive language could add another layer of meaning and engage the reader on a deeper level.
In conclusion, while "Panic Breathing" effectively uses structure to mirror its subject matter, it could benefit from a deeper exploration of its theme, a more impactful conclusion, and more varied language.
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RoseBlack
1 year 11 months ago
Short and powerful
This describes the feeling of panic and anxiety as we try to calm ourselves down. Well done.
Kristen H.
1 year 11 months ago
Thank you!
Thank you so much, RoseBlack!