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Is Paradise Too Much To Ask

Take me to paradise
Where the grass is always green
On any side.

Take me to a place where worry is no more
Where tears fall as raindrops on rose petals
Where love paints a rainbow.

There's no love to be found after the sunsets
And the words of destruction fall as stars from heaven
When I fret.

Please don't eat the flesh of my desire
With your beastly claims
Aimed at my flesh when I try.

Like the morning flowering vines of nature
I hide in the forenoon bedew
keeping my heart shut down from rupture

Thus I dance a lullaby
Every night before I die
After each thrashing one a day at a time.

About This Poem

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: United States, USA

Favorite Poets: Billy Collins, Shakespeare, , Emily Dickinson, , , Whitman, Jess Tapper

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Comments

weirdelf

weirdelf

11 years 9 months ago

what made this poem turn from trite hope

to profound meaning was the use of the word 'rupture' instead of 'rapture'.

A really good poem, better, a human statement of the highest order.

One of your best ever.

Though I have a strong desire to inflict extreme punishment on anyone who administers thrashing.

Barbara Writes

Barbara Writes

11 years 9 months ago

Rupture

Thanks, in glad you like it. Rapture is not what I meant. Rupture is. But I see why rapture would fit. It gives the poem a whole new meaning. It works, but it spiritually inaccurate according to what I believe about the rapture.