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A Passing Fancy (by eddy styx)
A Passing Fancy (by: eddy styx)
I note her
from across the room,
unobtrusively
gliding on over.
seeing her up close,
she appears as sweetness
peaches and cream.
however the nearness of her
presence,
exudes a warning
dispelling her facade.
unintentionally, our eyes meet
for a moment time stops.
I shudder as
evil pours forth
wafting in the air.
leaving the party
my arm brushed against hers
I swear I heard a hiss!
perhaps a premonition?
waiting in the darkness
for her to make her exit
I pull my collar up
around my ears, against the cold.
when she does depart,
with tipsy male escort,
whose' eyes are on her cleavage
his hands on buttocks, roundly
of which she does mildly protest.
close, but not too close
behind them in their drunken stroll,
they finally reach their destination.
I take up a spot in the shadow of a tree
listening to her rebuke and refusal of his advances,
a stinging slap across his face is all he can take.
watching him stumble away down the street
I wonder if he will take the blame for
the corpse they will find in the morning?
About This Poem
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing Stage: Editing - draft
Comments
Geezer
3 years 2 months ago
I love the story...
A fitting end for the bitch!
How dare she lead him on like that?
Your title is great!
You have a couple of typos that I would like to see fixed:
presence
unintentionally
Otherwise a great tale! ~ Geez.
.
Candlewitch
3 years 2 months ago
thanks, Geez...
I appreciate the time you spend critiquing and reading (reverse those two words, LOL) I feel lazy today!
*hugs, Cat
Dalton
3 years 2 months ago
Dearest Cat
As it seeps into the erotic and then the twist the vamp who steals your lover under your knows. Who the corpse refers to I'm not sure. This surely is an Eddie Styx write not a Cat write I know there is a difference and no bad thing dear poet. Again I'd like to know the background or your intention while writing I can't fault this narrative poem regards John :)
Candlewitch
3 years 2 months ago
dear John,
I am so glad that you can sort it out between Cat and myself. I do all the things that she cannot. I can speak my mind in my poetry. however she is getting better, due to my prodding. also I punish the wicked. she just yells at them, lol!
ever, eddy
Race_9togo
3 years 2 months ago
Uh huh...
It still surprises me, how you send that shiver of horror down my spine each time Eddy steps out of the darkness to ooze back into my consciousness.
I have no criticism, just a vast enjoyment of this piece.
One or two spelling errors, is all.
Most excellent. And I don't usually even LIKE horror.
Well done.
RoseBlack
3 years 1 month ago
Hello Eddy
Glad to see you about. What a wonderful tale and spot on observation. The ending was fitting for such a bitch. A real pity her drunk escort was the last to see her alive....
Candlewitch
3 years 1 month ago
Hey RoseBlack,
it is really great to see you again. we hope to see and read more of you soon. we love your poetry!
thanks for reading my poem and commenting!
ever, eddy
*hugs, Cat
RoseBlack
3 years 1 month ago
There is more to come...
Can't wait for your next write.
Candlewitch
3 years 1 month ago
it is coming up today...
as soon as I can get it posted!
ever, eddy