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IRiz
IRiz
May 24, 2018 ⭐ View statistics (Premium feature)

The past

Bare branches,
naked ground,
empty sky,
hollow water,
even the sun
is gone
most of the time.

How can I miss
the snowless winter
and long nights?

And yet
I look at the old pictures
and wonder
whether they ever return:
the cold wind
and the smell of dry
stubborn grass,
crispy silence disturbed
by the last
birds heading south,
puddles reflecting
everything better side up
and blush
that my smile 
brings to your  cheeks
when we run.
Will they ever come back?

About This Poem

Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Editing Stage: Editing - rough draft

About the Author

Region, Country: Washington DC, USA

Favorite Poets: Matsuo Bashō, Sylvia Plath, Charles Bukowski, TS Eliot, William Carlos Williams, Joseph Brodsky, Boris Pasternak, DH Lawrence, Robert Frost

More from this author

Comments

Eumolpus

Eumolpus

7 years 1 month ago

interesting idea

to have nostalgia for the northern winter. In the most north regions the sun is indeed gone for the season. So when I read that the poet is asking how can that be missed (especially with the spring here!) i am looking for an answer.. would it be the sense that we all have a dark side, and revel in it, like a suffering which you own because it is yours alone, and comforts you? I don't see a resolution to this nostalgia in this poem yet.

In the final part of the poem you introduce a "you" , a companion in your "run" which is too undefined, and not sure how it fits.

I would continue with the theme of migration (birds) and more define for the reader these feelings and doubts and confront it head on.
..

IRiz

IRiz

7 years 1 month ago

Hi Eumolpus!

Hi Eumolpus!
the answer is in the companion, one can miss northern dark winter if there is a friend.
Thank you for reading and commenting, perhaps I should develop the connection between the stanzas to make my statement more clear

lovedly

lovedly

7 years 1 month ago

hollow water,

NOT sure

did u mean

shallow !

yes a friend in the western world
replaces
all relatives
in the far East

R

raj

7 years 1 month ago

Fortunately sooner or later

Fortunately sooner or later the seasons return...
.......................................................................................

IRiz

IRiz

7 years 1 month ago

Hello Barbara.

Hello Barbara.
Thank you for reading.
To answer your question, It is nostalgia for my friend who made bleak winter attractive to me.
The answer is in the last line.

Barbara Writes

Barbara Writes

7 years 1 month ago

Hi iriz

I didn’t have a question. I just found it intriguing. Great poem