Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Past Bitterness Of Anger
Beyond accusing anger
and burn of bitterness
wrought from beaten jealousies
of rank contempt
risen in fury and fatigue,
the touch of one hand
caught within another
is miraculous.
So we slowly stroll
across the pale sunlight
of September afternoon,
fingers intertwined,
palms pressed warm,
speaking of long years
spent as moments together.
Crowds cannot distract
us back to our forgotten rage,
nor cool breeze from unseen river
tempt either you or I
from this simple sharing
driving every doubt away.
The feel of your hand in mine
is sweet memory of ecstacy pressed
intimate in pleasure
of a wonderous joining
that brought our children
into being-
and now, I forget
why we had fought.
About This Poem
Last Few Words: Sometimes we fight, and I love the aftermath, heehee.
Style/Type: Free verse
Review Request Direction:
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Review Request Intensity: I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Comments
Nordic cloud
14 years 8 months ago
This is wonderful yes!
This I loved reading and think it a very good poem, I find no fault on the first read. And as I read it once more I find it still a fine poem and praise you for its creation.
Ann of the north with love.
Race_9togo
14 years 8 months ago
Thank you Ann
I am glad you liked it so much.
Race_9togo
14 years 8 months ago
LOL
Thanks Rosina, for your kind comments!
judyanne
14 years 8 months ago
so lovely jim
i adore
'speaking of long years
spent as moments together'
your wife is a very lucky lady
love judy
xxxx
Race_9togo
14 years 8 months ago
Thanks Judyanne,
But I am the luckier half of our marriage.
I wrote this sitting in the car as we ate lunch and talked, scribbling in those odd little moments of pause between talkiing, on the day we went down to Indianapolis after the fight we had.
So she was my editor on this one, heehee.
Would that every editor would be so...
:D
Thanks again.
Race_9togo
14 years 8 months ago
Chrys,
The abrupt and well worn title...
...um...
...ah...
...well...
...because, in truth, it was a rushed afterthought, heehee.
You are right, it needs better, so I'll give it some thought.
Thanks Chrys,
Race_9togo
14 years 8 months ago
Hey Ian
Can not...cannot...you're right, I changed it.
Burn instead of born...no, I meant burn, lol.
Yes, you are picky....and I would have it no other way, my friend.
I am so glad you find such enjoyment in my poem, Ian.